Smithy's Successor
by Lord Seth
Summary: A wacky adventure story written by me several years ago. Sadly, it didn't end up going in the direction I had hoped, but hey, it's still funny! This was originally posted on Lemmy's Land.
1. Parts 1 and 2

Smithy's Successor

By Lord Seth

Warning: If laughter is dangerous to your health, you are cautioned not to read this story.

Cast of Characters

Larry Koopa: The youngest Koopaling. He knows a terrible secret about everyone, and then some. However, rather than get rich from this blackmail, he spends most of his time with his plants.

Morton Koopa Jr: An extremely loud loudmouth. He talks even more than insert name of someone who talks more than the most talkative person you know ! Most people keep duct tape around when he's around, so that they can tape his mouth shut.

Wendy O. Koopa: A person who is sometimes an extremely whiny brat. She is obsessed with wearing bows. There seems to be something I'm forgetting to mention about her, though. But what is it?

Iggy Koopa: He's... um... well... he proves that the saying "that which does not kill me makes me stronger" is an outright lie.

Roy Koopa: The biggest bully and strongest Koopaling. He enjoys pounding on either Iggy or Larry. He's also the best Koopaling at sports by far.

Lemmy Koopa: The fun-loving Koopaling who manages a great website. He's bad at walking but is great at rolling on his ball.

Ludwig von Koopa: The genius of the Koopalings. Still, if he was so intelligent, why don't his inventions work more often? And why doesn't he stop making those horrible sounds that he calls music?

Bowser Koopa: The father of the Koopalings and ruler of the Koopas. Bowser is constantly trying to conquer The Mushroom Kingdom, but Mario and Luigi stop him every time.

Mario Mario: The mascot of Nintendo and enemy of the Koopalings. Mario, as everyone knows, is constantly saving the world (and princesses). He's the slightly older brother of Luigi (Mario was born oh... maybe a few seconds earlier. They're twins!).

Luigi Mario: Mario's younger and slightly less famous brother. Although he and Mario usually get along well, they argue all the time.

Peach Toadstool: The princess that Luigi and Mario are constantly rescuing from Bowser'as clutches. You think she would have increased security by now, though.

Yoshi Dino: The semi-adorable dinosaur that is a friend of Mario and Luigi. He has a big appetite and dislikes the Koopas also (Why else would he let Luigi or Mario ride him?).

Wario Wario: Mario's cousin and rival. Although he's stronger than Mario, he's more evil. He is a bit more clever, but is less agile because of his large weight.

Waluigi Wario: Wario's brother and a total scaredy-cat. He does not appear in this story but was supposed to. However, he got stage-fright at the last second... I mean minute... I mean hour... sorry, I mean week.

Mallow Nimbus: The son of Queen and King Nimbus. He's a character in Super Mario RPG.

Geno ????: We don't know his last name (if he even has one), hence the question marks. He is a Star Guardian and assisted Mario when they defeated Smithy waaaaaay back in Super Mario RPG.

Lord Seth: This person is a genius. He is also cool, excellent, and amazing. There are simply not enough compliments to adequately describe this person. However, every single one of those descriptions will be lost immediately if you say his name is strange. Although he's rather weak physically, he makes up for it by being an extremely excellent person at magic (real magic, not the fake kind that David Copperfield does).

????????: An extremely critical character in the story. Unfortunately, we at this time do not know the name or description of him or her.

All these and others in...

SMITHY'S SUCCESSOR

-Edited and published by Lemmy Koopa.  
-Characters Created by Nintendo, Inc.  
-Music Provided by Ludwig von Koopa. Just kidding!  
-Written, produced, directed, and created by Lord Seth.  
-Special thanks to Vapor for technical assistance.  
-Inspired by Smithy. Sorry Smithy, but you still don't get paid!  
-Anything that is not listed in the credits is probably provided by someone who is not listed in the credits.

The Setting

After that fiasco in A Test of Wills, life had gone back to normal, or at least as normal as it ever gets, at Koopa Castle. Roy was pounding on Iggy, Ludwig was in his lab (big explosions and bad music could be heard), Wendy was throwing a tantrum, Larry was watering his plants, Morton was babbling on, and Lemmy was working on his computer. The noise level was... high. And now our story begins...

"I wish someone had invented noise-proof kids," Bowser grumbled to himself. Suddenly he found himself face-to-face with Lord Seth.

"Greetings everyone!" Lord Seth stated to no one in particular.

"Who are you talking to?" Bowser asked, then added "AND GET OUT OF HERE! IT TOOK ME AN ENTIRE DAY TO GET MORTON OUT OF THAT HAUNTED HOUSE!!!"

"Touchy, touchy," Lord Seth said, "I was merely informing the readers that this is a milestone story. Now, I- OH MY GOSH!!! I'M LATE!!!"

Without another word, Lord Seth teleported away.

"How does he do that?" Bowser wondered out loud.

Oh, it's quite simple, actually. All you need to be is over 1,000 years old and-

"I wasn't asking you!" said Bowser, who was feeling annoyed.

Well, don't ask questions like that then! You know, do you think I'm cool?

"Who are you?" Bowser asked.

I'M LORD SETH YOU IDIOT!!! I WROTE THIS STORY!!!

"But I was just talking to you!"

sigh It's really complicated but I'm Lord Seth, okay?

"Fine. Yes, you're somewhat cool. Now leave me alone," Bowser mumbled, leaving.

Somewhat?! Well, I'll leave you alone, even though I'm much more cool than that.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Oh, sorry.

A few weeks later...

A knocking sound was heard. Lemmy, as luck would have it, was the one to go and answer it.

"Who is it?" he asked grouchily, as he was in the middle of a game of Yoshi's Island. "And who are yo-" he stopped, seeing Mario and Luigi. "ALL RIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU TWO IDIOTS DOING HERE?"

"We were just wondering which way was lef-" Mario began, but then Luigi whacked him. "Oh, I'm sorry. I mean that we have a small problem."

YOU CALL WHAT HAPPENED SMALL?!

"See," Mario continued, "the Mushroom Kingdom has been completely demolished and conquered by an army of Smithy's former hencemen. The problem is that each is ten times stronger than they were before. Where are Mallow and Geno when you need them?"

Meanwhile...

"Mmmmph mmmmph!" Mallow (who is tied up and gagged) said.

"Mmph mmmph mmmphh!" Geno (who is also tied up and gagged) agreed.

"SHUT UP!!!" screamed the guard who was in charge of watching over them.

Back to where our friends are...

"Let me get this straight," Lemmy said. "You-"

"It's curved, not straight. Weren't you listening?" Luigi interrupted.

"What I meant is that you're stating that Smithy's army came and attacked you? But Smithy's been destroyed for years! The chances of him being revived is the chances of lightning striking me right now."

Just then, some lightning hit Lemmy.

"Well, lightning never strikes the same place twice," he said, feeling dazed.

Just then, lightning struck him in the exact same place. However, it was his head rather than his feet, because he moved.

"Well, maybe it could have happened!" Lemmy said.

"It did," Luigi said.

They didn't get to talk much more, because at that moment a large group of Drill Bits came running after them. Fortunately for our friends they were so heavy that the ground collapsed underneath them.

"So... you see that this is completely and absolutely true," Mario said.

"Yes, yes," Lemmy said. "Wait here."

Lemmy left to inform the rest of his family about the new situation. The news lowered the decibells of the castle down to 50, the lowest ever (excluding when people were asleep).

"Now what's going on here?" Bowser roared. "You're telling me that Smithy's army went and attacked the Mushroom Kingdom? Who cares? Why should I care?"

"Uh... they probably will attack us next?" Lemmy said.

"And what gives you that idea?"

"Revenge." was Lemmy's simple answer. And that did make sense, as Bowser had helped Mario defeat Smithy.

"Alright... so what do we do?"

Call Lord Seth for help! Did I ever tell you how great he, er, I mean I, was? Just-

"FINE! ANYTHING IF IT'LL SHUT YOU UP!!!" Bowser yelled, obviously annoyed. He dialed Lord Seth's number, but unfortunately got an answering machine.

"Hello!" it said, in Lord Seth's voice. "You have reached the Seth mansion, home of Lord Seth. The, um, problem is that I'm currently being held prisoner and tortured by my greatest enemy. So, um... how about you call back in a year or two?"

Bowser slammed down the phone. "Some help he was. See if I ever listen to that narrator again."

Hey, I'm only supposed to make jokes!

"Well, let's just tell the rest of the Koopalings about this," Lemmy said.

A bit later...

"So, uh, what should we do?" Larry started to say, but was interuppted when Bowyer crashed in.

"Revenge I shall get!" he cried.

"Revenge? Bowser wasn't even on Mario's team when they beat you," Morton replied.

"Oh. Incorrect I was," Bowyer said. He disappeared and Yaridivoch (who is stronger than him) appeared.

"Me and my extra-big mouth," Morton sighed.

Meanwhile, outside the castle...

"Any idea what's taking them so long?" Luigi asked.

"Nope. Not an idea," Mario said.

"Think there could be a problem?" Luigi asked.

"Well, why don't we find out?" Mario answered.

"Sure, just don't kick down that do-"

SLAM!

"Too late," Mario said.

"Mario, do you even know the definition of the word 'doorknob'?"

"What's a doorknob?"

"This explains a lot," Luigi said. "An awful lot."

"What explains a lot?" Mario said, confused.

"Forget it. Let's just go inside. And by the way, if we have to, I'm not paying for that door!"

"Who cares? I'm always doing that!"

Exactly how many times has Mario had to pay for a door he knocked down? Why doesn't he know what a doorknob is? Will they get there in time to save the Koopas? I'm using all those suspenseful questions again, aren't I? Will I ever stop? No, am I doing it again? Stop it? Get rid of those question marks? No? No matter what I do, these all ends in questions marks! There's one that didn't! Yes! Okay, you can stop with the exclamation marks! I SAID STOP!!! Good, it stopped. Wait, now I need to ask another question. Who is leading these forces. No, I wanted a question mark. Oh, forget it.

Mario and Luigi ran in and saw something... but what? I'll tell you in a second? THAT'S IT! I'M GETTING THIS KEYBOARD FIXED!!!

But in the process, we must get back to the story (Okay, you're wondering how I can write this without a keyboard. It's a bit... difficult to explain).

Mario and Luigi, as I was saying, came into the room where the Koopalings and Bowser were having their meeting... if it could be called a room. The entire place had been demolished, and scorch marks could be found everywhere. Drips of water were also all over the place. All in all, it looked like what a place would like if Lord Seth was in a bad mood and someone told him his name was strange (or if Vapor walked in during an Interview).

"This place looks like what a place would look like if Lord Seth was in a bad mood and someone said his name was weird," Luigi said.

I just said that.

"Luigi said that it would happen if someone said Lord Seth's name was weird, not strange," Mario said.

sigh I really hate things like this... where was I? Now I remember. As I was saying, the room had been demolished and totaled. Mario and Luigi were staring at it.

"Any ideas on what to do?" asked Mario.

"Um... look for them? Look at this trail they left!" Luigi said.

And so began a vast and magnificent battle that shall have no easy victor.

Meanwhile...

All the Koopalings were tied up and gagged in the room next to where Geno and Mallow were tied up.

"Mmmmmph mmph mph mmpphh mmph mmmph mmmmmmmppphhhh mphhh mpph!" Morton said.

"MMMMPH MMPH MMMMPPPHH!!!" Roy said.

"Figures I get this stupid job," a Shy Guy muttered. "I mean, I'm stuck watching over these little brats while all my friends get all the good stuff."

Back to Mario and Luigi...

And so Mario and Luigi went and tried to rescue the Koopalings. Unfortunately, they got captured and thrown in a shell, sorry, I mean cell, along with Yoshi and Peach. These guys were bound but not gagged.

So who's going to save them? WHO?! The answer sure shall surprise you...

Part 2: The Thing After Part 1

Vapor: There was no Part 1!

TOO BAD! ON WITH THE STORY!

To Make A Short Story Long...

Who is the savior? Think! He's the only person mentioned in the Cast of Characters who hasn't made an appearance... it's Wario!

"What? I refuse!" Wario said.

Uh... did I mention that Smithy has a large amount of secret treasure?

"Oh! I'll go then!" Wario said happily.

And so Wario went off to rescue the people so he could get the treasure from Smithy.

"I'm only doing this because you're paying me!"

That was supposed to be... ah... our little secret? Anyway, Wario got to the prison cell where Mario and Luigi were being held.

"No way! I'm not giving the key to you!" a Jabit (the prison guard) cried.

"Too bad!" Wario said.

Interupption

We will now do all battle scenes like the following:

Attacker: Name of attacker   
Attack: Name of attack   
Target: Name of target   
Effect: Amount of damage dealt or whatever it does   
HP Left: Amount of HP left on target   
Anything else that should be mentioned here will be mentioned here 

Note: In battle scenes language will be in script format to make viewing easier.

So for a quick sample battle:

How Smithy REALLY died.

BATTLE START.

Smithy: Your name's pretty strange, you know.

Lord Seth: WHAT?!

Attacker: Lord Seth  
Attack: Total Annihilation  
Target: Smithy  
Effect: 1,000,000 damage dealt  
HP Remaning: 0  
Smithy is defeated.

END BATTLE.

Exp will not be mentioned but it will be said when someone increases in level and their HP gain. Thank you.

We now return you to the story

Attacker: Wario  
Attack: Punch  
Target: Jabit  
Effect: 50 damage dealt.  
HP Left: 10

Attacker: Jabit  
Attack: Bite  
Target: Wario  
Effect: 10 damage dealt  
HP Left: 20

Attacker: Wario  
Attack: Punch  
Effect: 50 damage dealt  
HP Left: 0  
Jabit is defeated

WARIO WINS!!!

"Fine! Fine! I'll give you the key! The boss won't be happy, though," whined Jabit.

"Heh heh heh-heh" laughed Wario. "That's what you get for messing with me!"

Wario gains a key!

Wario turned left... then right... then right... then left... then backwards... then forwards... then left and finally managed to get to where Mario and Luigi were imprisoned. Wario used the key to free them.

"I never thought you would be the kind to help us!" Luigi said.

"I'm only doing this because Smithy was supposed to have some treasure," Wario said greedily.

"I should have known," Mario said.

Suddenly two Hyper Goombas appeared! Fortunately so far the baddies were not powered up by whoever has seized control of Smithy's forces. What a stroke of good luck!

"Being the star of a story has its benefits," Mario said. "But let's fight those Hyper Goombas."

BATTLE START.

Enemies: Three Hyper Goombas

Attacker: Mario  
Attack: Fireball  
Target: Hyper Goomba 1  
Effect: 30 damage dealt  
HP Left: 0  
Hyper Goomba 1 defeated

Attacker: Luigi  
Attack: Jump  
Target: Hyper Goomba 3  
Effect: 60 damage dealt  
HP Left: 0  
Hyper Goomba 3 defeated

Luigi: Hahaha! I'm stronger than you, Mario!

Mario: Are not!

Luigi: Are too!

Wario: Morons...

Attacker: Wario  
Attack: Punch  
Target: Hyper Goomba 2  
Effect: 50 damage dealt  
Hyper Goomba 2 defeated

MARIO, LUIGI, AND WARIO WIN!!!

Mario and Luigi are still arguing.

"Are too!" said Luigi.

"Are not!" said Mario.

"Why did I rescue these idiots?" wondered Wario.

Wario, Mario, and Luigi (hereafter known as "our heroes") go to try to save the others, but after getting the news, all of Smithy's (I'm saying Smithy even though he's not in charge until we find out the true leader) forces have evacuated and taken the prisoners with them!

"Oh, great," Mario muttered. "Now we have to go figure out where they are and rescue them."

Meanwhile...

"Hahahaha!" Someone laughed. "Those fools. Hey! My name isn't someone!"

Well, until we find out who you are, we'll have to do that. Unless, of course, you choose to give it out...

"No! Never!" Someone stated. "Where was I? Mwahaha! Those fools are playing right into my hands... soon I shall have them all trapped again. Let them free a few... I'll still complete this my time. We're ahead of schedule. BWAHAHAHA!!!

Meanwhile...

"Mario, the definition of a doorknob (in the dictionary's own words) is: a knob that releases a door latch," Luigi explained.

"What's that mean?" asked Mario.

"It means you just turn the circular thingy on the door to open it... unless it's locked," Luigi answered.

"Oh," Mario said, feeling happy now that he knew what a doorknob was after many years.

"But what are these?" Luigi wondered, picking up some hammers. "Oh! They must be those Hammer Brothers hammers that there were in Super Mario RPG!"

MARIO, LUIGI, AND WARIO ALL HAVE HAMMERS

"Hey... look at this!" Wario said. "It's a piece of paper!"

"Oh, wow!" Mario said sarcastically. "A piece of paper... the answer to all our problems," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Actually, it might be! It has writing on it! It's smudged as it goes on so I can't read some of it... but it reads like this (the s are showing where it's so smudged I can't read it):

Hey u s! It's quite simple to e out what o do... you don't hae to collect Stars o Star c, you ne to coect the 11 Scrolls of Power or this sy will neer nd! At least there's a pu... and ch Scroll has s biit! is is or et wih ou gd k d dy!

"So that means what?" Mario inquired.

"It means that we need to collect the 11 Scrolls of Power for some reason," Wario explained. "Heh heh I always was the smarter one."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" both Mario and Luigi yelled.

"I said that out loud? Oops," Wario gulped.

Meanwhile...

"Heh," Mack said. "Being ten times as strong is exhilarating! Soon those morons known as Mario, Luigi, and Wario will fall into our trap! And then... and then we shall-"

"Shut up you should," Bowyer said.

Just then, Lord Seth crashed through the window. "Hello," he said calmly. "I'm here to collect my debts."

"No! Not will I pay!" Bowyer screeched.

"Have it your way," Lord Seth said. He opened his hand and a few fireballs (the kind you see on DragonballZ) appeared and blasted Bowyer.

"Okay! Okay! Pay I shall!" whined Bowyer. He gave Lord Seth the four million dollars he owed him.

"You forgot interest," Lord Seth said with an evil grin. "That's an additional million." Bowyer grumbled but handed over the money, and Lord Seth left.

"Hate him I do," Bowyer muttered.


	2. Parts 3 and 4

Part 3: The Mountaintop

Our heroes continued on their quest. However, after walking a few miles in no direction particular, they discovered a strange creature.

"Poppy!" said the strange creature.

"What the heck is that?" asked Luigi.

"Poppy poppy!" said the creature again.

"That's-a Poppy Bros Jr," Mario said. "This specific kind is the one shown in Kirby's Fun Pack/Kirby's All Stars. However, this specific one is of the rare kind that you only see when you have a helper with the Bomb power."

"Poppy!" said the Poppy Bros Jr (hereafter known as Poppy for short). It gave Wario a recorded message.

The message said (in Lord Seth's voice):

"This is my pet Poppy Bros Jr. Don't worry, it's very well behaved. It only blew up the house once! By the way, if it hands you a bomb, put it in your pocket. It's a sign of friendship. However, if you throw down the bomb, then-"

BBOOOMM!!!

"-it explodes, as you just discovered," finishes the tape recorder.

"And you couldn't have told us about that earlier?!" Wario said.

"Sorry I didn't tell you about that earlier, Wario," said the recorder, still in Lord Seth's voice. "So, just take it on your way. It'll sure help you!"

"Help me? How?" Luigi wondered. He got his answer when Poppy threw a giant bomb at him, hurting him severely.

"Very strong," observed Mario.

"Ow..." Luigi said. "It sure didn't help me there, but it will be a good asset in battle..."

POPPY JOINS THE PARTY

Mario flashed the peace sign to no one in particular.

"Who did you just do that to?" Wario asked Mario.

"Do what?"

"Flash the peace sign. We're not quite making peace, after all!"

"To no one in particular."

I JUST SAID THAT!

"Well, too bad!"

Just then, a Goomba (one in Smithy's army) appeared. This one was ten times as strong as most Goombas.

"The scripwriter is just punishing us for getting on his nerves..." muttered Luigi.

BATTLE START

Attacker: Goomba

Attack: Poison Dart

Target: Poppy

Effect: 5 damage dealt

HP Left: 20

(Ten times as strong?! I'd hate to see a regular Goomba! Well actually, I wouldn't, it would be so easy to defeat!)

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: SuperBombs

Target: Goomba

Effect: 30 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Goomba is defeated!

POPPY WINS!

"Not bad for a Poppy Bros Jr," said Mario. They walked on until they saw a Mushroomer.

"Where should we go?" asked Mario.

"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," said the Mushroomer.

"How does that help us?" asked Wario.

"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," said the Mushroomer.

"Uh... do you say anything other than that?" asked Luigi.

"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," said the Mushroomer.

"What's going on?" asked Wario.

"Poppy?" agreed Poppy. From now on we shall use a translator so that we and everyone else can understand what he is saying.

"I know!" said Mario. "It's just like a video game. People always say the same thing!"

"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," said the Mushroomer, agreeing.

"Well? What're we waiting for? Let's go!" Poppy said.

Unfortunately, suddenly a Shy Guy appeared. This was one of the one's under Mack's control.

BATTLE START

Shy Guy: I'll get lots of money for defeating you!

Attacker: Shy Guy

Attack: Jump

Target: Poppy

Effect: 30 damage dealt

HP Left: 5

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Hammer (remember those hammers they got a little ways back?)

Target: Shy Guy

Effect: 40 damage dealt

HP Left: 50

Attacker: Wario

Attack: Hammer

Target: Shy Guy

Effect: 50 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Shy Guy defeated.

WARIO WINS!

"Ow..." said the Shy Guy.

"No fair. I didn't get to help!" complained Luigi.

"You will eventually!" Poppy told him.

"Hmph," hmphed Luigi.

"Okay Shy Guy, where are the others being held?" Mario asked.

"I don't know exactly, but it's in those mountains somewhere!"

"Maybe that's where we'll find one of the Scrolls of Power!"

"I heard that up there in the mountains there's a mythical scroll," repeated the Mushroomer.

"Oh, shut up already," said Wario.

And so our heroes left to try to climb the mountain, get the Scroll of Power, and rescue their "friends". Hmmm... a pretty hard agenda list.

"You're telling me!"

On the way there, they had to fight a Blooper. Well, actually, four.

BATTLE START

Enemies: Four Bloopers

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: Bomb

Target: Blooper 2

Effect: 20 damage dealt

HP Left: 10

Poppy: I need to work on my strength...

The Bloopers are weakened because they're not in water, so they're as strong as usual, not ten times as strong.

Attacker: Wario

Attack: Hammer

Target: Blooper 2

Effect: 30 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Blooper 2 defeated.

Okay, okay, I may have changed the battle format a bit, and may continue to do that, but you'll still understand it, hopefully, okay?

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Fireball

Target: Blooper 4

Effect: 30 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Blooper 4 defeated.

Attacker: Blooper 3

Attack: Sting

Target: Poppy

Effect: 50 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Poppy faints.

Attacker: Luigi

Attack: Hammer

Target: Blooper 3

Effect: 15 damage dealt

HP Left: 15

Attacker: Wario

Attack: Bash

Target: Blooper 3

Effect: 15 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Blooper 3 defeated.

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Fireball

Target: Blooper 1

Effect: 30 damage dealt

Blooper 1 defeated.

MARIO WINS!

"Ow..." stammered Poppy.

"Good thing I brought this Mushroom!" said Mario.

Mario uses the Mushroom on Poppy and it heals him.

"Thanks!"

Our heroes continue up the mountain, fighting a few enemies along the way. Finally they reach the top.

"Oh man! I forgot to bring my flag so I could stick it up here!" said Luigi.

"Someone already did," said Wario, pointing to a flag with a (badly drawn) picture of Smithy's face.

Part 4: Lost!

Meanwhile...

"I said let me have a computer! I need to do my updates!" Lemmy shouted at the guard.

"Too bad!" said the guard "And if I don't let you, erase me!"

Oh, I will.

"AAAAH! Fine! I'll get you one!" the guard whined.

"Knowing the narrator has its good points," muttered Lemmy to himself. Then the guard came back with an old, obsolete computer.

"It's the best I could do..." said the guard.

"At least I can do my updates!" said Lemmy.

Back to where our heroes are...

"Hahaha!" screeched a voice from behind them. They spun around to face a Koopa Troopa guard. "Prepare to die!" it announced.

BATTLE START.

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: SuperBombs

Target: Guard

Effect: 35 damage dealt

HP Left: 5

Attacker: Wario

Attack: Hammer

Target: Guard

Effect: 5 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Guard defeated.

WARIO WINS.

EVERYONE GAINS A LEVEL!!! ALL ARE LEVEL 2'S!

Poppy now has 30 HP and has learned HyperBombs.

Wario now has 45 HP and has learned Double Punch.

Mario has 40 HP and has learned Super Fireball.

Luigi has 40 HP and has learned Super Jump.

So, to recap their abilities:

Poppy: 30 HP

Weapon: Bomb

Special:

SuperBombs-Hurls bombs at enemies

HyperBombs-Hurls Bob-ombs at enemies, stronger than SuperBombs

Wario: 45 HP

Weapon: Hammer

Special:

Bash-Basic Special Attack

Double Punch-Stronger Special, sometimes Stuns the opponent.

Mario: 40 HP

Weapon: Hammer

Special:

Fireball-Basic Special

Super Fireball-Stronger than Fireball and sometimes sets enemy on fire

Luigi: 40 HP

Weapon: Hammer

Special:

Jump-Basic Special

Super Jump-Stronger form of Jump, attacks twice in a row

"We finally went up in level! Woohoo!" exclaimed Luigi.

"No time to celebrate," said Wario. "We gotta find Smithy's HQ... and you, my friend, are going to help us," he

snarled at the Koopa Troopa guard. It gulped under his gaze.

"I-it's over to the r-right, I think," the Koopa Troopa guard stammered.

"Well, we'll just take you along with us then, to make sure you're telling the truth!" Poppy said.

"Oh..." groaned the Koopa Troopa. They wandered to the right and found an entrance. They went in (unfortunately, the Koopa Troopa escaped and ran out). Meanwhile, on a cliff nearby... we find Lord Seth and Vapor, watching our heroes' progress.

"Why don't you help them?" Vapor asked Lord Seth. "It would be so much easier if you went there yourself..."

"Vapor," Lord Seth interrupted, "think. They believe it's just a battle between them and Smithy's army, and the person heading it. That's wrong. The true battle is occuring far above that... between you and me... and you-know-who."

"Who? Voldemort?" asked Vapor.

"No, of course not!" Lord Seth snapped. "Do you think I'd fear HIM?! Please, not even the killing curse, which is supposed to be unblockable, would scratch me. Not him... but you know who."

"Why don't you say the guy's name out loud?"

"THIS IS A STORY! PEOPLE ARE READING THIS!!!"

"Oh, there's that..."

"Come on Vapor, we have work to do." Lord Seth started walking away, and Vapor followed.

Back to the cave...

"Oh darn, now we're lost," said Poppy.

"No we're not!" said Luigi.

"Really?" asked Mario. "In that case, where are we?"

"We're um... we're here!" Luigi said, pointing to a map on the wall at one of those little red pointy arrows pointing to a dot that says "You Are Here".

"Okay, then we go this way!" Wario said. They walked away. If one of them had stayed there, they would have

noticed the little red dot moving.

"Cool technology. The dot moved!" said Mario.

YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HEAR THAT! Now, where is that Universal Transmitter? I need to turn it off so that you, the reader hears me, but the characters don't. Now, where is that switch? Oh, I see-

"What was that?"

"I have no idea."

Five Goomba guards suddenly appeared.

"Give me a break," muttered Luigi. "We need a challenge."

The five Goombas changed into ParaHyperGoombas.

"Me and my big mouth," Luigi sighed.

"But a perfect time to test our new abilities!" announced Mario.

BATTLE START

Enemies: Five ParaHyperGoombas

Attacker: Luigi

Attack: Super Jump

Target: ParaHyperGoomba 4 (now to be referred to as ParaGoombas, although they are not)

Effect: 100 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

ParaGoomba 4 is defeated.

Luigi: I'm much stronger now!

Attacker: ParaGoomba 1

Attack: Jump

Target: Luigi

Effect: 35 damage dealt

HP Left: 5

Luigi: Owch! Maybe I'm not.

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: HyperBombs

Target: ParaGoomba 1

Effect: 100 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

ParaGoomba 1 defeated.

Attacker: Wario

Attack: Double Punch

Target: ParaGoomba 2

Effect: 60x2 damage dealt (120)

ParaGoomba 2 defeated.

Attacker: ParaGoomba 3

Attack: GoombaBomb

Target: Poppy

Effect: 5x5 damage dealt (25)

HP Left: 5

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Super Fireball

Target: ParaGoomba 3

Effect: 70 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

ParaGoomba 3 defeated.

MARIO WINS.

The ParaGoombas, although defeated, had just enough strength to fly away quickly.

"Drats!" said Poppy. "But what is this?" he said, picking something up.

"It's a crystal," said Wario. He took it from Poppy and looked at it carefully. "This one strengthens you," he added. Just as he finished saying that, the crystal exploded into blue light.

ALL OUR HEROES GAIN A LEVEL! ALL ARE LEVEL 3's!

Wario now has 55 HP

Poppy now has 40 HP

Mario now has 50 HP

Luigi now has 50 HP

"Now what?" asked Mario.

"Well, we could try entering that door that says DO NOT ENTER," Luigi answered.

Everyone agreed, so they opened it. They found Mack inside.

"Ah... here you are," Mack said with an evil grin. "I hope that you are ready to die! Want to rescue someone? COME THROUGH ME TO GET THEM!"


	3. Parts 5 to 8

Part 5: When the Shark Bites...

By the way, in case you are wondering, our heroes are usually automatically healed after each battle, but if they faint they only go to 1 HP. However, neither of these applies to a battle IMMEDIATELY after an earlier one. Understand? You don't? Well, too bad! On with the story.

"Oh great, now Mack's here?" grumbled Mario. "Oh well, we beat you once, now we can do it again!"

"That," Mack said, "was different. I am now ten time stronger thanks to our new leader."

"Who's the leader?" said Poppy.

"I'm not telling you that, but I will tell you this. DIE!"

BATTLE START

Mack: Hahaha! This will be your final resting place!

Attacker: Mack

Attack: Hyper Jump

Target: Poppy

Effect: 20 damage dealt

HP Left: 20

Mack: Mwahahaha! Hey... I should be dealing more than that!

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: HyperBombs

Target: Mack

Effect: 50 damage dealt

HP Left: 950

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Hammer

Target: Mack

Effect: 25 damage dealt.

HP Left: 925

Attacker: Luigi

Attack: Jump

Target: Mack

Effect: 25 damage dealt

HP Left: 900

Attacker: Wario

Attack: Double-Punch

Target: Mack

Effect: 20x2 (40) damage dealt

HP Left: 860

Wario: Not so tough are you now, eh, Mack? So much for being ten times as strong!

Mack: You won't be laughing after THIS!

Attacker: Mack

Attack: FireWall

Target: All

Effect: 20 damage dealt

HP Left: Poppy 0; Wario 35; Mario 30; Luigi 30

Poppy faints.

Poppy: I'm always the victim!

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Item; Pick Me Up

Target: Poppy

Effect: HP fully restored! (Revived)

HP Left: 40

Poppy is revived!

Mack: Grr...

Attacker: Mack

Attack: Slicer

Target: All

Effect: 25 damage dealt

HP Left: Poppy 15; Wario 10; Mario 5; Luigi 5

Attacker: Luigi

Attack: Hammer

Target: Mack

Effect: 10 damage dealt

HP Left: 850

Mario: Why didn't you use a stronger special?

Luigi: I'm out of Flower Points! I forgot to recharge, so while you guys have plenty, I don't!

Mack: HA!

Attacker: Wario

Attack: Item; Double Mushroom

Target: Mario and Luigi

Effect: 20 HP restored

HP Left: Mario 25; Luigi 25

Poppy: Oh no, what I'm about to do will hurt...

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: Self-Destruct

Target: Mack and Poppy

Effect: 200 damage dealt

HP Left: Poppy 0; Mack 500

Mack: Wait! It dealt 200 damage. I shouldn't be down to 500!

Sorry, my calculator is broken.

Mack: Well, correct it!

TOO LATE! CONTINUE FIGHTING!

Mack: You guys will still lose...

Attacker: Mack

Attack: Jump

Target: Wario

Effect: 10 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Wario faints.

Mario: We're in trouble!

Luigi: You can say that again.

Mario: We're in trouble!

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Super Fireball

Target: Mack

Effect: 30 damage dealt; Mack is set on fire.

HP Left: 470

Attacker: Mack

Attack: None

Target: None

Effect: None

HP Left: N/A

Mack's dousing a tail fire! Wait... he doesn't have a tail. Make that a... uh... something fire!

Mario: Pssst, Luigi. Do you have a Pick Me Up?

Luigi: I do!

Attacker: Luigi

Attack: Item; Pick Me Up

Target: Poppy

Effect: HP Fully Restored! (Revived)

HP Left: 40

Poppy is revived! (again)

Mario: Can you do that self-destruct again?

Poppy: I will, but it'll still hurt!

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: Self-Destruct

Target: Mack and Poppy

Effect: 200 damage dealt

HP Left: Poppy 0; Mack 270

Mack: You got my HP right at least...

Attacker: Mack

Attack: Hyper Jump

Target: Luigi

Effect: 15 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Luigi faints

Mack: Hahaha! You'll lose!

Mario: Think again! You forgot you're still on fire! Now you can only attack once a turn, and...

Attacker: None

Attack: Burn

Target: Mack

Effect: 30 damage dealt

HP Left: 240

Mack's still on fire!

Mack: Owowowowowow! Hothothothothothot!!

Mario: It also occasionally burns you, as you just discovered. Now, I'm going to take a gamble here...

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Item; Wheel of (Mis)Fortune

Target: Mack/Mario

Effect: 50/50 chance of dealing 300 damage to either!

Mario: Hehehe! BUT, because I'm the star of the story, I get a 75 percent and you get a 25 percent.

Mack: Absolutely no fair!

Mario: Complain to the author! Now the wheel spins...

The wheel spins rapidly, slowing down slowly. If you've seen any of Lord Seth's Interviews, you'll know the routine. It lands on... Blue!

(round continued)

Target: Mack

Effect: 300 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Mack faints.

MARIO WINS!!!

ALL GO UP IN LEVEL! ALL ARE LEVEL 4's!

Poppy now has 45 HP.

Wario now has 60 HP.

Mario now has 55 HP and has learned Ultra Fireball.

Luigi now has 55 HP and has learned Ultra Jump.

"But... but... I was supposed to be ten times as powerful!" Mack stutters.

"Well, it's like this," explains Luigi. "You're in a semi-cramped cave so you can't use your jumps to its full extent. Second, there are more of us than there were in Super Mario RPG. Third, you're out of shape! I could tell that immediately! Fourth, we're the stars of the story, giving us an advantage. Fifth (and thank goodness) the author's calculator broke. Sixth, you didn't have your Shy Guys. Six reasons, so you're only four times as strong!

"Grrr..." Mack snarls. He's still strong enough to jump, so he hops out of the room quickly (toward the entrance where our heroes came in). Our heroes continue through the door that Max was blocking. A scroll rests on a pedastal. Also, the scroll's wriiting is red, and in large letters it says "Fire Scroll". Mario picks it up and yells "Hothothothothothothot!" Then it floats upward (just like the Star Pieces in Super Mario RPG).

FIRE SCROLL. FUNCTION: INCREASES STRENGTH OF FIRE ATTACKS.

"Woohoo! We found one of the Scrolls of Power! Ten more to go!" exclaims Wario. However, the door begins to open. Everyone spins around.

"No food here!" says the voice of the person outside angrily. "Yoshi still hungry!"

"Yoshi!" shouts Luigi as they all run down.

"Luigi, Mario, Wario, and... um... who you?" asks Yoshi.

"Poppy," says Poppy.

"Yoshi happy to meet Poppy!" Yoshi said.

"But how did you escape?"

"That easy. Yoshi so hungry, his tongue stick out longer than usual. Yoshi eat guard and spit out key. Yoshi then use key to escape from Solitary Confinement! Smithy's forces clear out, so Yoshi alone and hungry."

"Well, I suppose that now we have more help!" said Mario.

"Yoshi happy to help!" Yoshi says.

YOSHI JOINS THE GROUP

Yoshi: 50

Special:

Slurp-Slurps up the smaller enemies. It doesn't deal too much damage, but stops them from attacking!

Egg Throw-Throws Eggs at enemies.

Mario once again flashes the peace sign to no one in particular, to Luigi's anger.

"I wanted to do that!" whines Luigi.

"Maybe next time, bro," Mario says.

But there are still ten more scrolls! Where and what are they? How will the first help our heroes? The answer is simple: Who knows?

"Okay, okay! The computer has finally been built!" announced ??? (the person with all of the question marks as their name in Cast of Characters). "This Super Computer is the most powerful ever! Now let's test it out. Computer, what is 11?"

"Whirrr... click... processing question... processing question, please wait... processing question, please wait... processing question, please..."

??? got tired of this and left the room, with the computer still saying "Processing question, please wait..."

Meanwhile...

"Come on," muttered the Goomba, "let's just find it and get out."

As Smithy's minions walked through the abandoned hallways of a half-buried high school, they finally come across the room they'd been seeking. They entered it.

Strangely enough, despite the fact that there should be absolutely no power in this long-abandoned high school, the lights turned on as they entered. They found what they were looking for in the center of the room on a table.

"This is it!" said the Jabit. "Exactly what we wanted to find."

What they found was a giant telescope-like machine. Behind it was a propped-up cardboard display case explaining how it worked. Most of it had faded out and was impossible to read. However, on the top it read:

Death Ray

Underneath that was the word "by". However, the word after that was so faded out it was impossible to read. However, the word after that word was 'Seth', so it read "by UNREADABLE Seth". It was a Science Fair project.

"Perfect! This will do fine!" said the Goomba, and the group proceeded to carry it out.

Meanwhile...

"So what's the next scroll?" Poppy asked.

"Who knows? I don't know the names of even another, let alone the next one," Luigi said.

"Yoshi know!" said Yoshi.

"What, then?" asked Mario.

"Uh... um... Yoshi Scroll, Mario Scroll, Poppy Scroll, Luigi Scroll, Wario Scroll, Bowser Scroll, Peach Scroll, Goomba Scroll, Lemmy Scroll, Morton Scroll, Roy Scroll, Iggy Scroll, Larry Scroll, Ludwig Scroll, Wendy-"

"Not only are those definitely NOT the scrolls, that's more than 11!" said Wario.

"Well, how Yoshi supposed to know?" grumbled Yoshi.

Suddenly, a squirrel-like creature appeared and ran by them, screaming "AAAAAAHHHH!"

"I wonder what he was running from," said Poppy.

"I think it's THAT," said Wario, pointing out a robot that looked vaguely human.

"Surrender all hope-and prepare to be roboticized in the name of Doctor Robotnik," it said, suddenly lunging for Yoshi.

BATTLE START

Enemies: 1 Swatbot

Chosen to Fight: Yoshi (well, not quite CHOSEN, but only Yoshi got a chance to fight him)

Attacker: Swatbot

Attack: Laser

Target: Yoshi

Effect: 5 damage dealt

HP Left: 45

Swatbot (in a robotic voice): I should be dealing more damage than that.

Yoshi: Yoshi mad now!

Attacker: Yoshi

Attack: Egg Throw

Target: Swatbot

Effect: 50 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Swatbot is defeated.

YOSHI WINS!

BLAM! The robot's pieces went scattering everywhere.

"Huh? Who's Doctor Robotnik?" Poppy asked aloud. "I know Lord Seth mentioned him a few times, Robotnik was in some video games, I think."

"I know! I know!" exclaimed Mario. "He's Sonic the Hedgehog's archenemy. In short, to Sonic who Bowser is to us, except Robotnik's more evil. He roboticizes animals into his robot slaves. He was in some video games for Sega Genesis and Dreamcast."

"Wait," said Luigi. "Sega is Nintendo's RIVAL, so how would you know this?"

"Well," said Wario, "they DID release Sonic Advance for GBA and Sonic Adventure 2 for GCN... Sega must be a third-party publisher or something now," Wario said.

"But what Robotnik doing here," Yoshi asked, "if Robotnik exist in other universe?"

"Well... I'm no rocket scientist, but my guess is that Sega becoming a Third Party publisher for Nintendo has upset the universal video game dimension balance, causing some portals to open, which is how Robotnik got in," suggested Mario.

???: Hello.

Luigi: Eeek! Who's that? And why did this story suddenly change to script format?

Whoops, my mistake. I'll fix that.

"Anyway," said the stranger, "would any of you happen to want to buy some weapons?"

"Uh... sure, why not?" said Wario. They looked at the inventory and bought:

Bob-omb (Poppy)

Super Hammer (Mario)

Punch Gloves (Wario)

Super Hammer (Luigi)

Hard Boots (Yoshi)

"Pleasure doing business with you," the stranger said. He then walked away and vanished into the mist that suddenly showed up.

"Well, at least we got some equipment!"

"And hopefully it'll be enough to defeat our coming foe, Robotnik... uh, whoever he is," added Poppy.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," said a voice behind them. They all spun around, and gazed into the eyes of a somewhat familiar face.

Part 7: Of All The Times To Have Writers Block! Uh... I Guess I'll Have To Leave This Part Un-named. Drats!

But, before we see exactly who this mystery person is, we shall cut away for a moment and see what else is developing.

"Exactly as I told you, Vapor," said Lord Seth. "It's just like a game of chess. The players manipulate the pieces, getting them to go where they want to go, making them do what they want to do. AND, the pieces don't even know that. Of course, this is much more complicated, but the allegory is there. Then, once you have all your pieces in position, have captured your opponents', you move in, and then... Checkmate."

"Oh? Then I suppose you and I are the players one side?"

"Of course. Unfortunately, our foe got the first move. But if this was a chessboard-like game, we have just moved our pieces close to our opponents'. But, unlike a chess game... we're playing for much higher stakes."

"Don't remind me," sighed Vapor. "I know exactly what's at stake."

Back to our heroes...

Now, I know that you're all wondering who the heck is the person they saw. Well, I guess you'll have to wait just a LITTLE longer.

As to Robotnik. IF you have been reading the Sonic the Hedgehog comic series, then you would know that although Robotnik has died, ANOTHER Robotnik from a different dimension has come in (his name is Robo-Robotnik because he roboticized himself to make himself stronger). But he downloaded his mind into a different body (no, no one was in possession of it beforehand, he created it himself). That is why he looks different in Sonic Adventure and Sonic Adventure 2: Battle (now for Nintendo GameCube!).

To recap: Robotnik was killed but another Robotnik from a different universe came in and took his place. If this makes no sense, just read the comics!

So, THIS Robotnik (who ocassionally refers to himself as Robotnik, Mach 2) has transcended himself and his forces into the Mario Universe. Because of the release of Sonic Adventure 2: Battle and Sonic Advance for Nintendo platforms, portals have been created, allowing him to come here.

"I believe I can do a better job of explaining this," said Ludwig. "In this case, they-"

Uh... Ludwig?

"What?"

You're imprisoned, remember?

"Whoops!"

Okay, okay, NOW we cut back to where our heroes were.

"It's... it's..." Mario stammered, "It's A GHOST! AHHHHHHH!"

"IT'S NOT A GHOST!" shouted Luigi.

"Oh, and what makes YOU such an expert?" sneered Mario.

"I've fought too many of them in Luigi's Mansion to NOT know! And besides, here are your contact lens."

"Oh, thank you!" said Mario. "I've kind of developed a phobia of ghosts lately because of my horrible experience in Luigi's Mansion."

"Would Mario hurry up and tell the reader who the person he thought was Ghost really is?"

"Nah, I want Wario to do the honors."

"What? No, YOU'RE the big-shot hero!"

Our friends started arguing while the figure stomped his foot impatiently.

"Well, while these people keep fighting, how about I do?" asks Poppy.

Uh, sure!

"It's... it's... it's..."

JUST HURRY UP AND SAY IT!

"It is none other than the star of one of Lord Seth's favorite games, which is Sonic Advance, and the person in question is none other than Sonic himself!"

"Well, I was WONDERING when one of you would say who I was," Sonic said.

And it's about time! I dedicated pretty much this entire part to building up suspense. Now, what should I do now? I know! I'll end this and start the next part!

Part 8: Robotnik's Revenge

Meanwhile...

"Oh yes!" laughed ???. "They're doing it! Why bother trying to get the scrolls ourselves? We'll just let Mario get them himself, then we'll get them all! It saves us quite a bit of work. Mwahahaha! And then... with the Scrolls of Power I can bring Smithy back to life!"

Now, a bit of an explanation is in order. Smithy, as you know, is pretty much a robot with AI, and I don't mean the movie (which wasn't good anyway). He can think for himself, despite that he is not organic. There is something called the Turing Test. It goes like this. One person asks two other people, one of whom is really a computer, a question. Each answers (though a human is usually at the computer to make the voices sound similar, or in some other way make it so the voice is similar) the question. If, after six questions, the person asking the questions does not know which is the computer, it is Artifical Intelligence. On Earth, no machine has yet passed it. However, Smithy can pass it brilliantly. In fact, many people thought that HE was the human!

Now, as you know, if a robot is destroyed, it can easily be put back together. Not so in Smithy's case. Ordinarily that would work, but he's cheated Death too many times.

_Death: Got any 3s? _

_Smithy: Go fish. _

_Death walks away, and then comes back with a pretty big Fishbone he caught. _

_Smithy: Got any 3s? _

_Death: Go fish... HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! _

And why did this story suddenly go into script format? Well, we (using the royal we) now return you to your regular story, in its regular format

"Okay, okay," said Wario. "I'll say who the person is."

"I already did," said Poppy.

"We went through that all for NOTHING?!" Mario exclaimed.

"Mario right," admitted Yoshi sadly.

"So, uh, I take it you're against Robotnik, too?" asked Sonic.

Well, he does have one of the Scrolls of... whoops!

"Definitely," said Luigi. "We're definitely against him, especially if he has a Scroll of Power."

"Oh? And I suppose you're ready RIGHT NOW?!" called a voice. Everyone spun around to see Robotnik.

"Well, why not? Why wouldn't we?"

"Hee hee hee!" laughed Robotnik. "Just watch!"

Robotnik's ship extended four claws, grabbing hold of both Luigi and Wario. The third claw triesd to grab Sonic, but Sonic was fast enough to evade its grip The fourth missed Yoshi, but Yoshi tried to run from it and unfortunately ran right into where it accidently went.

"HEY!" shouted Luigi. "Let us go!"

"Not a chance!" Robotnik replied.

"This no fair!" complained Yoshi. "Yoshi just rescued. Yoshi shouldn't be captured again!"

"Uh oh," said Wario. "I know this. He'll take us and turn us into robots, making us his slaves."

"Wrong. I'd roboticize you, but an associate of mine has other plans," gloated Robotnik as he flew off. "Oh, and Silver Sonic? FINISH THEM!"

As if on cue (and it was on cue), the ground started shaking as if an earthquake was happening. Out of the ground came a large, silver, robot Sonic-like figure, a bigger form of the next-to-final boss in Sonic the Hedgehog 2.

"I was programmed to destroy you," it said in a robotic voice, "and I will comply with my orders."


	4. Parts 9 to 13

Part 9: Supreme Silver Sonic (can you say that 11 times fast?)

"Wait!" cried Poppy.

"What?" asked Silver Sonic, in its normal mechanical voice.

"I don't know. I just didn't want the battle to start immediately, so I wanted to fill up time."

"I will never understand you beings of flesh. Prepare to be defeated!"

BATTLE START

Enemy: 1 Silver Sonic

Fighting: Mario, Sonic, Poppy

Sonic: Quick! Let's take him out before he has a chance to do much.

Attacker: Sonic

Attack: Sonic Spin

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: Getting ready for a powerful attack!

HP Left: 1500

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Ultra Fireball

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: 40 damage dealt

HP Left: 1460

Mario: We have the Fire Scroll! It should increase my power greatly!

Sonic: He's metal. Fire doesn't effect him. The Fire Scroll counteracts that, making it do the normal amount of damage.

Poppy: Unless it melts him...

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: Bob-ombs

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: 10 damage dealt

HP Left: 1450

Attacker: Silver Sonic

Attack: Missile

Target: Poppy

Effect: 40 damage dealt

HP Left: 5

Poppy: Ow! Why am I ALWAYS the first one to be attacked? WHY?!

Attacker: Sonic

Attack: Sonic Spin

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: 100 damage dealt

HP Left: 1350

Sonic: Way past cool, dude!

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: HyperBombs

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: 20 damage dealt

HP Left: 1330

Mario: Uh oh. His silver plate is protecting him.

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Ultra Hammer

Target: Silver Shield

Effect: 100 damage dealt

HP Left: 200

Silver Sonic: Oh no! They have discovered my weak point! I must take them out QUICKLY!

Attacker: Silver Sonic

Attack: Static E

Target: All

Effect: 15 damage to all

HP Left: Poppy 0; Mario 40; Sonic 35

Poppy faints.

Poppy: It always happens! I always get hurt!

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Ultra Hammer

Target: Silver Shield

Effect: 100 damage dealt

HP Left: 100

Mario: One more attack to go!

Attacker: Sonic

Attack: SuperSpeed

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: Silver Sonic's dizzy! (can only use special attacks)

Mario: Why aren't you attacking his silver plate?

Sonic: Only your Ultra Hammer is strong enough to make a difference.

Attacker: Silver Sonic

Attack: Hyper Laser

Target: All

Effect: Laser's powering up!

HP Left: N/A

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Ultra Hammer

Target: Silver Shield

Effect: 100 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

The Silver Plate's cracked!

Attacker: Sonic

Attack: Punch

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: 50 damage dealt

HP Left: 1280

Sonic: That sure lowered his defense.

Silver Sonic: Ha ha you puny organic creatures! Hyper Laser always deals one hundred damage. Certainly it takes one turn to fire up and another to recharge, but I won't need recharging, because you'll die!

Sonic: This is NOT good.

Attacker: Silver Sonic

Attack: Hyper Laser

Target: All

Effect: 100 damage dealt

HP Left: Mario 40; Sonic 35

Blocked by someone!

Silver Sonic: WHAT?!

???: Haha! Hahaha! I... ugh!

??? falls down (and it's not the evil ???, either).

Mario: Quick! Now's our chance!

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Ultra Fireball

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: 100 damage dealt! (boosted by Fire Scroll)

HP Left: 1180

Attacker: Sonic

Attack: Sonic Spin

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: Getting ready for a powerful attack

HP Left: 1180

Attacker: Silver Sonic

Attack: None

Target: None

Effect: Recharging

HP Left: N/A

Attacker: Silver Sonic

Attack: Hyper Laser

Target: All

Effect: Getting ready for a really powerful attack

HP Left: N/A

Mario: Quick Sonic. We've got two turns.

Sonic: On it!

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Ultra Fireball

Target: Silver Snic

ffect: 180 damage dealt

HP Left: 1000

Attacker: Sonic

Attack: Sonic Spin

Target: Silver Sonic

Effect: 250 damage dealt

HP Left: 750

Sonic: That armor was pretty much the only thing protecting him.

Mario: This is a lot of damage we're dealing. I know what to do here.

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Item; Pick Me Up

Target: Poppy

Effect: HP Fully restored (revived)

HP Left: 45

Mario: Now, I know you know what I know I want you to do but Silver Sonic doesn't know that I know what you know what you're going to do.

Poppy: I know.

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: Self Destruct

Target: Poppy and Silver Soni

Effect: 800 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

Silver Sonic is defeated.

POPPY WINS!!!

ALL OUR HEROES GAIN A LEVEL! ALL ARE LEVEL 5'S!

Poppy now has, er, WILL have 55 HP (bonus)

Mario now has 65 HP

Sonic now has 60 HP

"Okay, we won and have the next Scroll of Power. But WHAT is-" Mario began, but was interuppted by Sonic.

"Wait! You have to do that peace sign thing first."

"Oh," said Mario.

And so, with Yoshi, Wario and Luigi all kidnapped, or in Yoshis' case, dinonapped, our heroes go in search of the answers, like what's for breakfast, why is the reader bothering to read this, who exactly is the final boss in this, and of course, why is Lord Seth's name so weird?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WEIRD? THIS IS A NORMAL NAME... WHO WROTE THAT IN? OF ALL THE TIMES FOR MY DELETE KEY TO BE BROKEN. OH WAIT, THE CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN, TOO! Oh good, now it's fixed.

Mario, once again, turns around and flashes the peace sign (again). Okay, NOW we get to the Scroll.

"It says Metallic Scroll," said Poppy.

METALLIC SCROLL: Powers up robots

"Well no wonder Silver Sonic was so hard! That idiot Eggman couldn't build a robot worth pennies!" said Sonic.

"Oh! Sonic! Could you autograph these for me?" asked Poppy, holding out over 50 comic books. "They're all Lord Seth's. He has almost every issue in your comic series from #38 to the current one, which is over #100!"

"Uh... maybe later," said Sonic. "Wait a minute... who WAS that mysterious figure that helped us out?"

They all turned around to see someone that you know. Well, that is, if you have a fair (but only fair!) amount of experience in games made by Nintendo, that is.

Part 10: Going Bananas

"Woah... who IS that?" asked Sonic.

"Oh, it's just that evil ape Donkey Kong, who kidnapped an earlier girlfriend of mine in Donkey Kong," answered Mario.

"No, that was Cranky Kong, I think. Both Rare and Nintendo have dropped a lot of hints on that."

"You're right. Cranky Kong was the evil one, and he took on the name Donkey Kong for a while. See, we Kongs don't keep the same name forever. Wrinkly Kong wasn't always called Wrinkly Kong because she was young once, you know?" said Donkey Kong, arising from his daze.

"Uh... yeah," said Mario, slightly skeptically. "So, what are you doing here?"

"King K. Rool kidnapped the rest of the Kongs, so I'm here to save them. I don't know how he could get them all... he had some kind of mechanical device that allowed him to do so. Any ideas where he got that?"

Everyone glanced at each other. Finally, Sonic said something.

"Well, that would probably be the leader of Smithy's army," said Sonic. "Seems like a lot of supervillains are

teaming up here."

"Ok," said DK. "I guess I'll have to continue on my way," he said as he started to leave.

"Wait!" said Poppy. "We're against Smithy's army, too. How about we help?"

"Uh... ok," said Donkey Kong.

DONKEY KONG JOINS THE GROUP

Mario yet again flashes the peace sign, which is strange, because they're not really quite making peace. Then again, if they win this thing, peace will reign again. Oh, and if this was Super Mario RPG 3 or something, the following would appear on the screen:

"And so, with DK in tow (so to speak), our heroes continue onward to battle the dreaded King K. Rool."

And so our heroes... wait, I just said that. Anyway, they walk on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Donkey Kong is the only one who doesn't seem tired at all. This is the last sentence of this part. What a lame way to end it, isn't it?

Part 11: King K. Rool's No Fool (well, okay, maybe he is, but I thought this was kind of catchy)

"Mwahahaha!" shouts a voice, which is, as you may have gussed, King K. Rool, or Kaptain K. Rool, depending on what you want to call him. Irregardless, he's standing right there.

"K. Rool... hmm... if you say that five times fast, doesn't it sound like 'cruel'?" mused Mario.

"I think that that's an adequate description of him." said Sonic.

"Prepare to be captured, along with Donkey Kong! Hey, wait a minute... where IS Donkey Kong? Oh well, I'll attend to him later. But first, YOU!"

BATTLE START

Enemy: King K. Rool

Fighting: Mario, Sonic, and Poppy

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Ultra Hammer

Target: King K. Rool

Effect: 0 damage dealt

HP Left: ???

Mario: WHAT?

Sonic: I'll try.

Attacker: Sonic

Attack: Punch

Target: King K. Rool

Effect: 0 damage dealt

HP Left: ???

Sonic: Why can't we beat him? In fact... we can't even see his HP!

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: HyperBombs

Target: King K. Rool

Effect: 0 damage dealt

HP Left: ???

Poppy: I've figured it out! He's invincible as long as he wears his crown!

King K. Rool: You're right... not that it'll do YOU any good. I'm not making the same mistake as in Donkey Kong Country and Donkey Kong Land. No crown-throwing THIS time! Hey... where IS Donkey Kong? Never mind... I'll attend to HIM later. My first business is with you!

Attacker: King K. Rool

Attack: Super-Ultra-Mega Cannon Ball

Target: All

Effect: Removes all of attacker's FP and subracts half of their possible HP from their current HP. Deals 100 damage to all enemies.

HP Left: Poppy 0; Mario 0; Sonic 0

Mario, Poppy, and Sonic all faint.

GAME OVER?

Part 12: Brig Breakout

Our heroes awoke to find themselves in a prison cell in King K. Rool's not-very-well-built ship.

"Oh... I had the weirdest dream," said Mario. "The Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopas were all taken over, and we had to go on some weird adventure and get eleven Scrolls of Power, and then we were captured by some guy and thrown into a ship and... hey! We are in a ship!"

"Uh... I figured that out already," said Poppy, sarcastically.

"Where'd Donkey Kong go anyway?" asked Sonic, rubbing his head.

"Quiet!" said a voice. "No talking in the prison!"

This voice belonged to a Kremling, the guard. Of course, as always, guards are stupid.

"Hey... you look a bit tired," said Mario.

"Well, to tell the truth, I am," admitted the Kremling. "I wish someone would relieve me of this post."

"Hey," said Mario, an idea flashing through his head, "why don't you let us out? We'll take over for you."

"Then what would I do?"

"You'll 'relieve' us of our post in the prison cell."

"Sure! Why not?"

The Kremling stupidly opened the door, let our heroes out, and then went in. They locked the door.

"When do I get out of here?" asked the Kremling.

"In a few years or so," said Poppy, and our heroes left the dungeon, laughing at the stupidity of the Kremling.

A few years later...

"Guys?" asked the Kremling. "Can I get back to my post now? Guys? Hello? GUYS?!"

The present...

"Bad guys like that are always stupid," said Mario.

"I've noticed," responded Sonic.

"Okay... now that we're out, what do we DO?" asked Poppy.

"What? I thought YOU knew!" said Mario.

Before anyone could say anything else, the footsteps of a Kremling, in this case a Krusha, were heard. They were obviously approaching where our heroes were. They quickly dove out of sight. Unfortunately, unlike most, this Krusha had excellent eyesight. He easily saw Mario. By noticing him, he also saw Poppy and Sonic.

"Surrender all hope and-" is what the Krusha started to say, but dhe idn't get past the first sylable because of Mario's quick jump on his head. The Krusha collapsed. Just then, more footsteps were heard. However, there were more than before, and they were lighter A giant spider rounded the corner and saw our heroes.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!" screamed, Mario because of his arachnaphobia. Poppy slapped some duct tape on his mouth quickly. Fortunately, no one heard him.

"Why'd you have that duct tape?" asked Sonic.

"Since Morton is one of Lord Seth's two favorite Koopalings, he comes over often. While Lord Seth isn't

annoyed with his endless chatter, I am, which is why I bring along duct tape. Anyway, who are you?"

"My name," said the spider, "is Squittar."

Mario tried to scream again, but all that comes out was a "MMMPH!".

"Um, why is he screaming?" asked Squittar.

"He's afraid of spiders," explained Sonic.

Sonic then noticed the fact that Squittar was wearing eight identical sneakers. He started to say something about it, but Squittar simply said, "Don't ask."

"So, uh, WHY are you helping us?" asked Poppy.

"Because I hate K. Rool and'll help whoever wants to defeat him," said Squittar.

"So, ah, any information on how to defeat K. Rool?"

"Well, his attacks all seem to deal a massive amount of damage. However, they all affect him in some way. The best way to go on is to simply stay around enough, and he'll destroy himself!"

Unfortunately, while they were all talking to each other, no one was looking where they were going. They all walked straight into a wall.

"Ow! My nose!" said Poppy.

"I don't think you HAVE a nose," said Squittar.

"Oh, shut up," said Poppy. "Hey... what's this I hear?" Poppy put his ear to the wall, trying to overhear the conversation. He gasped. "It's between K. Rool and-"

But Poppy never got a chance to finish his sentence, because at that instant the wall seperating them from K. Rool collapsed (partly due to the fact that they crashed into it, partly because of the fact that the ship wasn't built very well anyway). It took perhaps an entire minute for him to notice Mario and Friends, because he was talking so much with a Klobber.

"You escaped?! Oh well," K. Rool snickered, "I'll just defeat you again... but this time for GOOD!"

Part 13: K. Rool Duel

"Aha! I never thought I'd see you here, uh, er... what is your name?" asked K. Rool.

"Squittar," said Squittar.

"You'll go down with the rest of them! insert evil laugh here ! And this time, I'll take NO PRISONERS!"

"Well duh, because we're going to defeat you!" said Sonic.

"I don't think that that's what he meant, Sonic," said Poppy.

BATTLE START

Enemies: Kaptain K. Rool, 4 Kritters

Fighting: Sonic, Mario, Squittar

Poppy: Oh well, at least I won't get attacked if I'm not fighting!

Attacker: K. Rool

Attack: Lunge

Target: Poppy

Effect: 100 damage dealt to target, 50 to self

HP Left: Poppy 0; K. Rool 1950

Poppy faints.

Poppy: I shouldn't have said anything...

Squittar: (whispering) Like I told you, just DELAY his attacks, and he'll end up destroying himself!

Attacker: Squittar

Attack: Web Protection

Target: Squittar, Mario, and Sonic

Effect: Increases targets' defense significantly for the next turn

HP Left: Squittar 40; Mario 65; Sonic 60

Sonic: I'm going to take care of the Kritters in the meantime.

Attacker: Sonic

Attack: Total Knockout

Target: K. Rool, Kritter, Kritter, Kritter, and Kritter

Effect: 50 damage dealt to all

HP Left: K. Rool 4900; Kritter 0; Kritter 0; Kritter 0; Kritter 0

Kritter defeated. Kritter defeated. Kritter defeated. Kritter defeated.

K. Rool: Why didn't you attack, you idiots?!

Kritter: You never told us to!

K. Rool: Stupid underlings.

Squittar: How'd you gain that attack anyway, Sonic?

Sonic: I used a GameShark code!

Mario: This isn't a video game.

Sonic: I know. That's why I was surprised that it worked.

Mario: In any case, it's my turn!

Attacker: Mario

Attack: Ultra Fireball

Target: K. Rool

Effect: 50 damage dealt

HP Left: 4850

Mario: Only 50 damage?

Sonic: He must be in possession of the Water Scroll, which counteracts the effects of the Fire Scroll!

K. Rool: How'd you know I had the Water Scroll?

Sonic: Because you're holding it and it says WATER SCROLL in large letters.

K. Rool: Whoops! Never mind, you'll still lose! And I remembered your web protection, Squittar!

Attacker: K. Rool

Attack: Crown Throw

Target: Mario

Effect: Automatically defeats the enemy, but quadruples damage dealt to caster.

HP Left: 0

Mario faints.

Squittar: Now's our chance!

Attacker: Squitter

Attack: Web Shot

Target: K. Rool

Effect: Deals 200 damage (50x4)

HP Left: 4650

Attacker: Sonic

Attack: Sonic Spin

Targte: K. Rool

Effect: 200 damage dealt (50x4)

HP Left: 4450

K. Rool: Fools! You've fallen into my trap! Now I'll use-

As K. Rool said this, he fell into a pit covered by leaves. This pit was extremely badly disguised, and even a

Goomba would have avoided it. That doesn't say much for K. Rool's brains, does it?

K. Rool: I heard that!

After a few minutes (and 25 less HP), K. Rool manages to get out. Everyone is laughing at his stupid mistake.

K. Rool: You think that's funny? How about THIS?!

K. Rool used his Big Bang attack, which was blocked by Donkey Kong, who then fainted. This reduces K. Rool's HP to a mere 500. This attack was stronger than Super-Ultra-Mega Cannonball, but inflicted more damage upon him. In addition, his Flower Points were almost gone.

K. Rool: Stupid Donkey Kong. Why couldn't you Kremlings help me out here?

Kritter, Kritter, Kritter, and Kritter: You told us not to do anything without you asking.

K. Rool: Argh!

K. Rool tries to attack again (which is TECHNICALLY cheating)

Attacker: K. Rool

Attack: Crown Throw

Target: K. Rool???

Effect: 500 damage dealt

HP Left: 0

K. Rool: WHAT?! I was supposed to be attacking you guys!

Squittar: Which is cheating, and we want to set a good example for everyone watching this.

Whoops! Sorry I was a little off, but...

K. Rool is defeated.

K. ROOL WINS!!!

Whoops, THAT'S not supposed to happen! I'm supposed to say who dealt the final blow one, but since K. Rool defeated himself...

Insert name of who you think contributed the most to the defeat of K. Rool here WINS!!!

Okay, NOW for the leveling part... oh wait, they DIDN'T go up a level. Oh drat, I'm doing it again, aren't I?


	5. Parts 14 to 18

Part 14: Kataclysmic Kombustion (and the Aftereffects)

"Hey, wait a minute!" said Squittar. "We couldn't hurt K. Rool before, but why could we now, and... hang on, we've been spelling my name wrong this whole time!"

Whoops! I'll fix that!

"Good," said Squitter, "but that doesn't answer my question."

"I think the best person to answer it is K. Rool himself," said Donkey Kong, "so he'd better tell us!"

"Fine... fine," grumbled K. Rool, still lying on the floor (he was seriously injured). "The crown I'm wearing is only a replication... my true crown broke so it was in for repairs. That's the only reason you could beat me! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have business to take care of!"

K. Rool pulls a lever.

"Ha! This ship will self-destruct in two minutes! You'll NEVER get far enough away!"

"Neither will you," said Mario.

"That's what you think," said K. Rool, pressing something on his watch. He instantly disappeared.

"Hmm... didn't I see this in a movie?" asked Squitter.

"No time for that. We've got to get away!" said Poppy.

Our heroes ran, but the two minutes were up before they got away. Suddenly...

Nothing happened! Turns out that the self-destruct mechanism was originally created by Ludwig (something that ISN'T supposed to blow up blows up, but something that's supposed to blow up doesn't? Hmm). Our heroes managed to get out of the ship.

Meanwhile...

"Yes! I've escaped!" gloated K. Rool. "Hey, wait a minute! When I was going super-fast with the help of this watch of mine, why didn't I defeat DK and his friends?"

K. Rool pressed the button on his watch again, but nothing happened because it was only a stage prop.

"Hey, wait a minute! Why could I use it before, then?"

Don't blame me! I only narrate this story, I didn't make it make sense! But now we must get back to where our heroes are...

"Oh cool! A third Scroll!" said Poppy. "This one's a Water Scroll! It powers up water attacks!"

"I think we knew that," said Sonic sarcastically.

"Where to now?" asked Squitter.

"That's an easy one! This is like Super Mario RPG, so we just go to the map screen and go to the new place that's opened up," said Mario.

"Seems a little TOO easy..." said DK.

"Well, what else CAN we do?"

Since no one could think of something better, they all decided to do so. A few moments later, they came to the next level of this story... er, game. No wait, this is a story! It's a... oh, never mind.

"Why can't that narrator ever get to the point?"

Look, I'm only getting paid minimum wage here!

"Who ARE you anyway?"

Well, see, Lord Seth wrote this story, so he's supposed to be the narrator, but he was busy for a while so I'm taking over for him.

"You know what?" asked Poppy. "This explains a lot. An awful lot."

"Can we forget him and get on with our quest already?" asked Sonic.

"Okay."

And so they continued onward to find the next scroll and stop the evil plot that is unfolding.

Meanwhile...

"No arguments! GET GOING!" shouted ?? to Bowyer. "Get that scroll."

"But, but..." whined Bowyer.

"NO BUTS! GET OUT THERE THIS INSTANT!!!"

"Fine."

Bowyer left.

"Soon... soon all the Scrolls will be MINE!!!" ??? laughed to himself. "And then I will bring Smithy back to life, and reign supreme (along with him) over the universe!"

The universe? I don't know about that. Why, a mere few dozen lightyears away there's a civilization that could blow up this entire planet in a few moments. And then, only a smaller amount of lightyears away, there's-

"Well, they're lightyears away! Why should they bother me?!"

Well, the point is that if you want to conquer the universe, you'll have to go through them. And then there's-

"SHUT UP!!!"

Well geez, I'm only trying to help you out! Okay okay, we'll cut away from here...

"Finally!"

... and go back to where the action is taking place.

"So... where ARE we?" asked Squitter.

"We're somewhere around the Forest Maze." said Mario. "Hey! This is where I fought Bowyer. Something tells me we're going to see him again..."

"Oh?" asked Sonic. "You mean other than the fact that we've passed by AT LEAST 15 signs saying things like 'Away you must go'?"

Meanwhile...

"I TOLD you we should've had someone else do the signs!" complained a Jabit.

Okay, enough with that joke. Now let's get back to where the action is... er, so to speak.

Mario and the rest of our heroes were all hopelessly lost. Then again, this is called The Forest Maze, so that makes sense. Anyway, after what seems like hours (and is hours), they finally figured out where they are... lost.

"Oh yeah, like we needed to walk around for hours to figure that out," said Poppy sarcasticially.

"Did anyone bring a compass?"

"Oooh! I have one!" Squitter said as he brought out a compass that was stored SOMEWHERE on his person. However, a Jabit that was wandering around bumped into him and it broke.

"Hey! I spent $40 on that!" Squitter shouted at the Jabit while picking it up with two of his legs. The Jabit trembled in fright. "Now what exactly are you doing here?" said Squitter angrily.

"I'm not telling!"

"Oh yeah? Can you take THIS?!"

Squitter took out a screwdriver and waved it threateningly at the Jabit. "I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!!!" it screamed. "See, Bowyer has to find a Scroll of Power for our new leader, whoever he is, and it's supposed to be somewhere in this forest. I'm searching for it, along with a lot of other Jabits, and then I ran into you," it whimpered.

"And what is the NAME of your new leader?" asked Squitter again, bringing the screwdriver dangerously close to the Jabit.

"I told you! I don't know! Only people like Bowyer, Mack, Yaridivoch, and so on know. I don't!"

"Think we should believe him?"

"No," said Squitter. "But I have a better idea. He'll lead us to Bowyer, or else I'll use this little screw of mine! Don't you agree?" he inquired of the shuddering Jabit. The Jabit nodded. "Good!" Squitter said simply. "Now which way do we go?"

The Jabit, afraid of the screwdriver, helped our heroes get to the middle of the maze. But, surprisingly, Bowyer wasn't there. Instead...

Wait a minute, what am I saying? Bowyer WAS there.

Part 15: Bowyer Battle (well, kind of)

"Scroll of Power is where?!" Bowyer demanded angrily. "Tell me now you must!"

"First, we don't actually need to. Second, we don't even know where it is. Third and finally, even if we did, we wouldn't tell you!"

"Too bad that is!" Bowyer said as he threw a smoke grenade (or whatever it is) at them. They all started coughing instead of holding their breath, and they fell asleep within a few seconds. Instantly, the smoke disappeared.

"Ah, yes, Bowyer," came a voice from behind him. He whirled around. "You have defeated them... but only because I assisted you by giving you that. If I had not, they would have defeated you. Now give me the Scroll!"

Bowyer started to explain (in his strange way of speaking) that he didn't have it, but just then a Jabit ran, er, hopped in with it.

"Perfect," said the figure. "Now let us get going!"

"But defeat them we must!" complained Bowyer.

"No... they'll go get the other Scrolls, saving us the problem. Once they have them all, they'll walk right into our trap and I'll have them all! But it's nice to have one, in any case!"

Sonic wooke up to see Bowyer and the figure (who is ?????) boarding the airplane, along with the Jabits. He couldn't see much, but he could definitely tell that ????? is NOT a creature of flesh. For example, Goombas, Koopa Troopas, Lakitus, Mario, Luigi, and Bowser are beings of flesh. Jabits, Bowyer, Mack, and Yaridivoch are NOT, however. Got it? Whether you do or not, too bad!

"Well that sure narrows the list down," muttered Sonic to himself, "but still leaves many options. I guess we'll just have to continue onward and find out more."

Eventually everyone else woke up. It seemed that for the time being they'd missed the Wind Scroll... but they agreed that they should simply go onto the next.

What is this scroll? What are its powers? Who will they fight for it? I guess we'll have to wait to find out... or not. As they walked on a little more, a whole lot of people ran screaming in the opposite direction of where they were going.

"Well," said Mario, "If they're running away from something, I guess it means that we'd better go TOWARD it."

"Wait..." said a weird old creepy guy (The same one from A Test of Wills?). "You must not go there... I am warning you..."

"What is this, a bad horror story?" Poppy said. "We have an important quest to get through here!"

Taking no notice of the man's warnings, they continued onward.

"Yeah, but... what if he was RIGHT?" asked Donkey Kong.

"Yeah... it's a win/lose situation," agreed Squitter.

Part 16: Vile Voldemort (Ha! I said, er, typed his name. Anyway, ha!)

Anyway, after going on a little, our heroes found a few figures wearing strange robes or something. They all took out some weird stick and waved it while starting to say something, but Donkey Kong beat them up before they could finish. They left them unconscious and continued on.

Finally, they came to that one evil guy from those Harry Potter books, Voldemort! However, he was too far away to hear our heroes.

"Who is THAT?" asked Poppy.

"I think it's that one weirdo from the Harry Potter books. His name was Voldemort."

"His name was WHAT?!"

"Voldemort," Mario repeated.

"What? I can't hear you."

"VOLDEMORT!!!" Mario yelled at the top of his lungs. Unfortunately, Voldemort, also known as Lord Voldemort (not related to Lord Seth), heard them and appeared next to them.

"What are you doing? You're not supposed to say my name." Lord Voldemort growled.

"Oh. What would you prefer us to call you?" asked Squitter.

"You're supposed to be afraid to say my name and call me You-Know-Who or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, idiot!"

"Hmm..." Sonic said. "I don't know. You could be referring to anyone when you say You-Know-Who, and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named takes too long. Let's stick with Voldemort. Would you prefer us to call you Voldemort, or Lord Voldemort?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! The entire wizarding world has been afraid to say my name for so long. Why aren't YOU?"

"Well," said Poppy, "Lord Seth always said-"

"LORD SETH?! You know that idiot?"

"IDIOT?! YOU DARE TO CALL HIM THAT?!"

"Well, he does have a strange name..."

You're lucky Lord Seth isn't here, Voldemort.

"Who said that? I bet one of you is trying to mess with my head by being a ventriloquist!" said Voldemort, obviously not knowing what a narrator is. "You're trying my patience. I've wanted to get back at Lord Seth ever since he beat me up in that Interview, so... I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"That's bad, right?" asked Poppy.

"Yes it is!" Voldemort yelled. "Avada Kedav-"

Before Voldemort finished saying "Avada Kedavra", which is the "unblockable" killing curse, Sonic, using his quick speed, ran behind Voldemort and kicked him.

"You'll pay for that! Avada-"

But Voldemort never even got a chance to say the second word, because right then, Mario snatched his wand and Donkey Kong beat him to a pulp.

"I don't get it," said Squitter, trying to scratch his head with little success. "This guy was supposed to be the terror of everyone. And yet he's getting beat up!"

"Who knows?" Poppy said as he started to throw bombs at Voldemort. After a few minutes, Voldemort, the "most powerful wizard of all time" was beaten to unconsciousness.

"Well, that was fun. Let's find the next scroll," Poppy suggested, and everyone agreed. After a little bit of prodding, they found the scroll, which is the Magic Scroll. They returned to find that Voldemort (and his followers, the Death Eaters) were gone. The universal rift opened again and they all went back to their own world, at the exact same time they left. All were beaten so badly they forgot everything that had happened to them. They were all taken back to the EXACT same time they left, which is why there was no confusion in Harry Potter. Back in our universe...

"Well, that was fun. But, hey, what's this?"

Sonic took the scrolls they had and arranged them somewhat. They seemed to spell out a message.

"Hmm... it looks like we'll need all the scrolls to figure out what it means. It's just like a jigsaw puzzle. Let's see, it looks like this should fit here, and this one goes here...

Sonic experimented a little with it. He decided that all he could make out right then was that there WAS a message. "We'll have to get at least one more Scroll of Power if we want to find out the whole thing," he said.

Part 17: Scroll Search (or "Who's that Cloud?")

"Okay then!" said Mario. "We'd better go FIND those Scrolls of Power."

"Great idea, Einstein," said Squitter sarcastically, "but-"

"My name is Mario, not Einstein!" shouted Mario.

"That was an expression!"

"Oh. Never mind."

"Okay, let's review," said Sonic. "We've seen five of the eleven Scrolls of Power. Those were the Fire, Metallic, Water, Wind, and Magic Scrolls. What could be next? They seem to be various elemental forces or something like that..."

"Hmm..." was all Donkey Kong said. He was thinking hard, which was fairly difficult for him. He was used to explaining everything with his fists (and legs).

"Lightning!" yelled Poppy.

"Lightning? You think that that's the next scroll? That could be it, or at least one of the later Scrolls of-"

"No, there's some lighting RIGHT OVER THERE!"

Everyone turned and saw that Poppy was right. Except the thundercloud looked rather strange... especially with the eye in it, keeping a watch on our heroes. But it couldn't tell the time! Get it? Watch? Time?

"That's so funny I forgot to laugh," said Sonic dryly.

You must have a bad memory if you forgot to laugh at what you called a funny joke!

"That narrator's really starting to get on my nerves," said Squitter.

"Hey! Didn't I see this in a movie somewhere?"

ZAP! While Squitter was talking, a lightning bolt hit him. Hee hee, being the narrator is great for taking revenge!

"Grr... When we finish this whole thing and save the world, I'm going to sue that guy!"

"Now, where have I seen this cloud before?" muttered Mario to himself. "Was it in a video game?"

"Uh... Mario?" asked Sonic. "Maybe we should stop talking and START RUNNING!"

"Good idea."

Everyone started running as fast as they can, and for Sonic, that's really fast. Realizing that he was running much faster than the others, he slowed himself down a little. But the cloud with an eye was really fast! It started catching up. It came closer, and closer, and closer, AND CLOSER!!! insert Jaws music here .

"I've got it!" yelled Poppy. "I know what it is!"

"Well, hurry up and tell us," said Donkey Kong, "before this part ends!"

Too late.

"Drats!"

Part 18: The title of this part has been removed because of its politically, fashionably, and aerodynamically incorrect nature

"I know who it is! I know who it is!" shouted Mario. "The guy's name is Kracko!"

"Oh? Where is he from?" asked Sonic.

"I have no idea I just read what is says right there, 'Beware of Kracko'."

"Okay, now that we've used this joke, can I say who the heck this Kracko is?" asked Poppy.

Yeah, yeah, tell us.

"See, in Kirby Superstar (known in Europe as Kirby's Fun Pak), and some other Kirby games, there was this one boss named Kracko, and he was this cloud with an eye. Of course, that was only his second form. However, Kirby Superstar only had his second form."

"Well," said Squitter, "as this is Kirby's enemy, I bet Kirby himself will appear."

As if on cue, Kirby showed up. "Kirby!" he said. At least, I think Kirby's a he...

Everyone, as they continued running for seemingly no reason, stared at Kirby. That's right, Kirby! The pink protector, the amazing changeling, the Nintendo star, the best guy in Super Smash Bros and Super Smash Bros Melee (in my opinion), the-

"That narrator is either a Morton or a Kirby fan." said Poppy. "Which one do you think it is?"

"Kirby?" asked Kirby curiously. Unfortunately, Kracko hit him with a thunderbolt. "Kirby!" said Kirby angrily.

"Why do I have a feeling that we're suddenly going to have a battle?" asked Squitter.

Suddenly, for no reason other than the fact that I can't seem to use him in the story well, Donkey Kong disappeared in a flash of light!

Meanwhile, where King K. Rool was standing...

Suddenly, Donkey Kong appeared in a flash of light! He beat up King K. Rool (again), then freed the rest of the Kongs. Then they had a happy life... until the next Donkey Kong video game, anyway.

Back to where our semi-heroes were...

"I'm tired of running, both figuratively and literally," complained Poppy. "Let's fight Kracko, or die trying!"

Everyone stared at Poppy.

"Okay, maybe that was a bad choice of words," he admitted.

"So what do we do?" asked Sonic.

"How about a corny flashback?" asked Poppy.

"NNNOOOO!!!" everyone shouted, but it was too late.

"Don't worry! It's a short one... I think."

_Roy just got his report back. He got a... uh... er... ah... a bad grade, okay? _

_Roy: WHAT?! How could I get such a lousy grade? _

_Teacher: I told you to write a 2,000 word essay! And all you gave me was- _

_Roy: Two pictures! A picture is worth a thousand words. _

_Teacher: sigh Okay, I'll raise it to a D-. _

"Ever notice that flashbacks are always in script format for some reason?"

"Yep, I did," said Mario.

Um, in case you forgot, that cloud is still chasing you.

"That's why I didn't want a flashback! And besides, did it have anything to do with the story?"

I'll give you the answer in one word: Definitely not.

"Who HIRED that narrator?"

Well, Lord Seth was the narrator, but then he was... detained and someone else got the job. But then he had to leave and now I have it! I'm a substitute substitute narrator.

"What I wouldn't give for a substitute substitute substitute narrator right now," sighed Squitter.

"Kirby!" agreed Kirby.

"Can you say ANYTHING other than your name?"

"Kirby!" was Kirby's answer.

Just in case you couldn't remember what was also happening, the cloud caught up. Kracko laughed evilly.

"How can he laugh? He doesn't even have a mouth?"

Don't blame me! I just explain what happens, not why it happened.


	6. Part 19

Part 19: Kracko Krackdown

BATTLE START.

Enemy: Kracko

Fighting: Kirby, Mario, and Poppy

Kracko: Prepare to meet your maker!

Mario looks around.

Mario: I don't see Shigeru Miyamoto anywhere.

Kracko: No you idiot! I didn't mean that!

Mario looks around again.

Mario: Neither are my parents.

Kracko: ARGH! I'll shut that mouth forever!

Mario: But you don't have any duct tape!

Kracko: You asked for it...

Atttacker: Kracko

Attack: SUPER THUNDERBOLT!!!

Target: Mario and Kracko!

Effect: 1,000 damage dealt!!!

HP Left: Kracko 4,000; Mario 0!

MARIO FAINTS!!!

Poppy: Woohoo! Finally, finally, FINALLY I wasn't the first one to go!

Squitter: I think this guy has a "thing" for exclamation marks...

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: Item: Double Trouble

Target: Poppy

Effect: Attacks twice next turn!

Sonic: What? What good will that do? Do the math, it amounts to the same amount!

Poppy: We'll see...

Attacker: Kirby

Attack: Copy

Target: Kracko

Effect: Steals Power. Kirby gains Spark Power! Kirby takes another turn!

Attacker: Kirby

Attack: Electric Ray

Target: Kracko

Effect: 500 damage dealt

HP Left: 3,500

Poppy: While he obviously has strong offense, he has weak defense.

Attacker: Kracko

Attack: SUPER THUNDERBOLT!!!

Target: Kirby and Kracko

Effect: 1,000 damage dealt!!!

HP Left: Kirby 0; Kracko 2,500!

KIRBY FAINTS!!!

Poppy: Now you'll see the reason behind my "Double Trouble"! He has a really low defense, so...

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: Item; Avenge

Target: Kracko

Effect: Deals 1,000 damage for each fainted person in battle, in this case 2,000.

HP Left: 500

Poppy: And now for my gulp second attack...

Attacker: Poppy

Attack: Self-Destruct

Target: Kracko and Poppy

Effect: 1,000 damage dealt!

POPPY FAINTS.

KRACKO IS DEFEATED!!!

POPPY WINS!!! (somewhat)

Squitter: Hmm... I expected something a little longer...

Sonic: Hey! This shouldn't be in script format!

Whoops!

"Good," said Sonic. "But there's something else that doesn't make sense. Both sides lost, so how did we win?"

"Easy," explained Squitter. "It's because while they lost the battle, the two of us didn't faint. Even though we weren't actually fighting, we still technically win."

"I guess that makes some sense..." said Sonic.

BANG! Kracko explodes into one million, fifty-four thousand, four hundred and ninety-eight pieces! His eyeball managed to get out of it in one piece, though. "I'll get you for this!" it hissed before jumping away.

"What?"

Well, his eye is sort of like his brain, mouth, and, well... eye. It's the most important part of him, and it's nearly indestructible. The rest of him is really sort of a projection of his mind, as he's psychic (which is how he speaks, as he's telepathic). It's sort of like a Vell-Os Arrow in EV Nova.

"What's a Vell-Os Arrow, and what's EV Nova?"

Well, a Vell-Os Arrow is a sort of ship (a stronger form of the Vell-Os Dart), and EV Nova is the third game in the Escape Velocity series, which is a computer series, although its only for Macintosh. HAHAHAHA, Windows users! You can't play it, you can't play it!

(additional note: Okay, okay, so EV Nova is now out for Windows, but it wasn't at the time this was written, so BACK OFF!)

"I really, really, really, REALLY wish Lord Seth was the narrator right now..."

Well, he's not!

"In any case," said Squitter "We'd better use Pick Me Ups to heal these guys."

A few Pick Me Ups later...

"Phew! That was painful!" said Poppy.

Not as painful as if your ship in EV Override blows up when-

"I hope we get that substitute substitute substitute narrator soon..."

I AM the substitute substitute substitute narrator!

"Whoa boy..." said Mario. "I wonder why we seem to run through narrators so fast."

The contracts don't last long.

"Oh," said Poppy.

"Hey! Look what Kracko left behind!" said Sonic. "It's another of the Scrolls of Power!"

OUR HEROES GAIN THE LIGHTNING SCROLL!!!

Mario flashed the peace sign (again) and the scroll floated down into his hand. Sonic took it and the other scrolls and put them together to try to figure out the message.

"Well," he sighed, "it looks like we still don't have enough to figure out the whole thing. If only we had the one that Bowyer took..."

"Oh well," said Mario. "Hopefully we'll be able to find the rest."

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

????? was looking at our heroes through a crystal ball-like device.

"Yes... they're collecting the Scrolls of Power, all for me, and they don't even know it!" he cackled (yes, it's a he... well, sort of, as he's a robot). "Soon, all eleven scrolls will belong to me. I already have two, and they have five! Yes... soon they and I combined will have them all, and I shall simply take all of the scrolls from them, and then I shall complete my plans. Mwahahaha!!!"

How beings that are not of flesh can possibly have genders, I have no idea. In any case, Mack, Bowyer, and Smithy all seemed to be male... and this figure (who we still cannot see properly because of the shadows) is also like that.

Back to where our heroes are...

"Hmm... I wonder what this is," wondered Squitter out loud.

"I think that it's a... miniature warp hole. If I'm correct, it'll transport us somewhere on Plit."

"Let's find out!" Before anyone could stop him, Squitter walked into the warp hole and disappeared.

"Well," Mario sighed, "I guess we'll have to go after him."

One by one, our heroes all reluctantly stepped into the warp hole and disappeared.


	7. CHAPTER 2

Chapter 2

For those of you who have skipped Chapter 1, I will need to recap. Yes, I know that technically a "Chapter" is usually less than a "Part", but bear with me, people!

An evil being, who we still don't know the name of, wants to conquer Plit. However, he is commanding Smithy's army. Smithy is the ONLY one capable of doing so... or at least that's what everyone thought. In any case, Smithy was destroyed a long time ago by Mario, Geno, Mallow, Peach, and Bowser, and he can't be brought back to life by normal means (such as simply rebuilding him).

Whoever the new commander of Smithy's army is, this person is determined to gather all eleven Scrolls of Power. When they are all combined, something special is supposed to happen, though no one (except the creator of the Scrolls) knows exactly what. We would ask the creator, but regretably he died approximately 1,000,016 years ago. Hey, that's how old Lord Seth is! I wonder if that's a coincidence. In any case, this person wants to get all of them for his own evil purposes. Our heroes, Mario, Poppy, Squitter, Sonic, and Kirby, must foil this nemesis' plan. But, CAN they?

The current count of Scrolls of Power is that our heroes have five. However, Bowyer managed to get one. That, for those of you who never paid attention in math class, leaves five Scrolls.

When we last left off, they had all entered a mysterious miniature "warp hole". Where does it lead? Are there dangers there? Will they find the next Scroll of Power? We are about to find out...

Part 20: Warphole Wanderers

Now our heroes... wait a minute, they're not here! Oh, they went through the warphole. Now, where did they go? How can this story be told if we don't know where they are? Let's see...

PLEASE STAND BY. WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.

Okay, now we located them... on with the story!

"Hmm..." said Mario "This place looks strange, yet somewhat familiar."

"I've got it!" said Poppy. "Yet another piece of information we're getting indirectly from Lord Seth. This

is the Yoshi Carribean, where Super Wario World takes place."

"I wonder where the next Scroll will be," said Sonic.

"You won't get a chance to find out," said Yardivoch, who suddenly appeared. "Because I'M going to beat you to it!"

"Aw... I thought we were going to fight," whined Mario.

"My job isn't to fight you... it's to get that Scroll! See you later, suckers!" Yardivoch laughed as he threw a smoke bomb. When the smoke cleared (after a few seconds) he was gone.

"Well," said Sonic, "I think the only thing to do is to get

to the Scroll before he does."

"That won't be easy," said a voice. Our heroes turned to see a hooded figure. " _I_have the Scroll of Power, and only one person will get it," he cackled.

Suddenly, Yardivoch appeared. He tried to attack the figure but got blasted back.

"Now that I have your attention," he said, "I'll only give the Scroll to whoever can pass my 'test'. You five have to decide which one of you will try."

Our heroes discussed (well, argued) who should participate. Finally they settled on Mario.

"Okay," said the figure "Now for the test itself. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. You both have to guess it."

Both Mario and Yardivoch fainted.

"What?" asked the figure innocently.

"My guess is 4," said Mario.

"Mine is 7," said Yardivoch.

"And... it's a 6! Yardivoch wins!" said the figure.

Our heroes' hearts sank as they saw Yardivoch get the Scroll. He left.

"Oh, and the Scroll of Power you wanted is right down that cave," he said. Everyone stared at him. "Well, I caught Yardivoch cheating, so I gave him a fake Scroll."

"How can someone cheat at a guessing game?" wondered Poppy out loud.

Meanwhile...

"And here's the Scroll!" said Yardivoch proudly.

"Hmm..." ??? said. He looked at the Scroll. "Hey! This isn't the Scroll at all! You made a mistake! I'm docking fifty percent of your pay!"

"But... but..." sputtered Yardivoch.

"Just for that, I'll dock fifty-five percent instead!"

"Oh man..." Yardivoch moaned as he left. "Just wait until we're unionized!" he added under his breath.

"I heard that! Now it's sixty percent!"

Yardivoch fainted.

"This Scroll," said the hooded figure, "is called the "Pure Scroll". Only non-evil beings can hold it. Well, unless they have the Dark Scroll to cancel its power out," he added.

"Well, could you give it to us?" asked Poppy.

"Can't you get it yourself?"

"Nope! Too lazy."

Everyone fainted. Hey, what's with all the fainting?

Part 21: Spiderbot Smackdown (aka Boil the Big Bully... Again!)

Our heroes all got up from their faint and went to the Scroll. However, when they got there, they all started an argument about who was supposed to get the Scroll.

"Fine! Let's just take a vote!" suggested Poppy. "Just POINT at who you want to get it!"

Mario pointed to Poppy. Poppy pointed to Sonic. Sonic pointed to Squitter. Squitter pointed to Kirby (well, in a manner of speaking). Kirby pointed to Mario. They all resumed their argument. However, Kirby went over to the Scroll and inhaled it, then spit it out to where our heroes were. Mario was the only one who would actually touch it because of all of Kirby's saliva on it, so he did the peace sign again. This caused the argument to start up again. Finally, Kirby, tired of it all, sucked everyone up then spit them out, putting an end to the argument (and a start to them all cleaning themselves up). Unfortunately, everyone forgot to try to put the Scroll together with the other Scrolls to see what message it spelled out now.

Our heroes exited the cave and find themself smack dab in the middle of a desert.

"Hey, aren't those giant spiders coming straight toward us?" asked Mario.

"EEEEEKKK!!! GIANT SPIDERS!!!" Squitter screamed as he ran around in circles.

"Um... Squitter? In case you haven't noticed, you ARE a giant spider!" replied Poppy.

Squitter instantly stopped running and screaming. "Oh," he said.

"Hey, since you're a giant spider, could you possibly tell them to stop, because I'm pretty sure they want to attack us..." said Sonic.

"Okay, I'll try," said Squitter. "Spiders, could you stop?"

The spiders continued. "Say it louder!" urged Mario.

"SPIDERS, STOP!!!" shouted Squitter. The spiders instantly stopped. As our heroes got a little closer, they found that the spiders were really robots called spiderbots.

"Why did they stop, then?" wondered Poppy.

"Easy," said Mario. "They were out of batteries."

Everyone fainted (again) except for Mario. While he waited for them to wake up, he took a good look at the bottom of one of the spiderbots. It said "Made in Smithy's Factory, Inc."

After the others woke up...

"Hey! Look at this!" said Mario, pointing out what it said on the spiderbot. "It says it was made in Smithy's Factory, but Smithy's Factory was completely destroyed, along with Smithy!"

"Mario," said Sonic, "that occurred years ago, and lots can happen in that amount of time."

"I guess you're right," admitted Mario.

Before our heroes could continue their conversation, they were interrupted by Kirby excitedly pointing in a certain direction. Everyone turned to see what Kirby was pointing at.

"Well, what do you know? It must be the next Scroll of Power!" said Sonic.

"Ooh! Let me get it!" said Squitter, excitedly running toward it.

"Wait! It might be a trap!" cried Poppy, but it was too late. Squitter grabbed it in one of his eight hands, er, legs, er, one of his eight appendages. Suddenly...

Nothing happened! "What?" shouted Poppy "We don't have to fight anyone? I thought there was supposed to be some big battle, against some unstoppable foe, and then-"

"Quiet!" said Mario. Unfortunately, a giant creature resembling the giant Bully from Lethal Lava Land in Super Mario 64 came along, purely by chance (really!). The part of the desert our heroes (and the Bully) were standing on elevated, and lava poured in right below them.

"Oh, this is easy," said Mario. He punched the Big Bully a few times and knocked it into the lava.

"What? I thought that we were going to fight a HARD enemy, a really-" Poppy said, but didn't get any further because Sonic slapped some duct tape on his mouth.

"Uh, we got the Scroll of Power, at least. Which one is it?"

"It's the Ice Scroll," said Mario.

"That makes no sense! Why is an ICE Scroll in a desert?"

"Makes no sense to me either," replied Kirby. Everyone stared at him. "What?" he asked.

"You can TALK?!"

"Uh... yeah."

"Why didn't you TELL us?"

"You didn't ask," said Kirby, simply. For the zillionth time, everyone fainted, but Kirby woke them up by sucking them up then spitting them out.

And so, with the Ice Scroll in hand, our heroes continued onward on their quest to collect all of the Scrolls of Power. But their journey grows even more perilous. Sure, this was an extremely easy Scroll to get, but what about the others? What dangers await them? And, uh, now that they have a new one, what's the message say now?

"Well," said Sonic, answering the narrator's question, "here's what we've got at the start. It says 'If all 11 Scrolls of Power are combined, the person who has them all will be granted one wish (no, this isn't a takeoff of Dragonball Z). But beware! Even those of evil intention are free to use the Scrolls, as the-' And that's where it ends. We'll need at least one more Scroll until we figure out the rest."

"If only Bowyer hadn't gotten away with that Wind Scroll..." grumbled Mario.

"Actually," said Sonic, "we don't know whether that one would have fit right after that. It could be that Scroll, or the ninth, tenth, or eleventh. The only way to find out for sure is to get them, so let's go and find them!"

"Since we got this one so quickly, I have a feeling that the next one will take longer to get," said Kirby.

Part 22: Unfortunately, due to the fact that all of our "part-namers" are out on strike because we only paid them one coin per decade, this part will remain unnamed for the next decade or so

Suddenly, Sonic disappeared! I know this is corny, but it's how it happened... I think.

"Hey! What happened?" asked Poppy.

Well, our contract sort of ran out, and...

"Oh no!" shrieked Mario "He had some of the Scrolls! How do we get them back?"

Just then, all of the Scrolls Sonic was carrying fell down on Mario's head.

"Oh great, what's next, the kitchen sink?" asked Squitter.

"Uh oh..." said Poppy. As Mario started to get up, a kitchen sink fell on him.

"You know, I'm positive I saw this in a movie somewhere..." mumbled Squitter.

"Where are we anyway?" asked Kirby.

Poppy pulled a map out of nowhere and looked at it. "We're somewhere off the map," he said.

"I STILL say I saw thtis in a movie somewhere!" mumbled Squitter.

Mario sighed. "Well, where are we supposed to go look for the next Scroll?"

"Oooh! Lookee there!" said Poppy as he pointed to a sign saying "Scroll of Power this way--anyone named Mario, Poppy, Sonic, Yoshi, Wario, Luigi, Kirby, Donkey Kong, Squitter, OR Kirby please do not pay attention to these signs."

"Weeeeeeell..." said Mario, "you can't believe everything you read. Just some of it, so let's follow the sign and not believe the part about how we're not supposed to follow it!"

"Okay..." said Kirby.

"I KNOW I saw this in a mov-"

"SHUT UP SQUITTER!!!" everyone screamed.

"And wasn't that in a-"

"I said shut up!" yelled Mario.

"Um... I actually was going to say I read that in a book."

"Oh," said Mario.

"Enough with the jokes! We need to find the Scrolls! I'm getting very bored with all of this..."

"Okay, okay." agreed Kirby. "Let's find that Scroll!"

And so, for the zillionth time (sorry for using numbers that aren't real, but we lost count), our heroes set out in search for the next Scroll. Suddenly, a strange device appeared out of nowhere!

"What's this?" wondered Mario, picking it up.

"It's a Scroll of Power tracking device," said Squitter.

"How'd you know that?" asked Poppy.

"It says so on the side."

The device started to beep and point north!

"Why did this suddenly appear? It is SO corny! This adventure is starting to be even more corny than that business with those Sword Brothers!" complained Mario.

"Mario, don't complain!" urged Kirby.

Who's complaining? I'm not complaining! Does it look like I'm complaining?"

"Yes," everyone said simultaneously.

"Oh," said Mario.

Anyway, so after following the sign for a few feet or so, they came upon another sign saying the same thing, but pointing in another direction. Naturally, they went in that direction too. A dozen or so signs later, our heroes ended up completely wet.

"Why didn't you look where you were going?" shouted Mario.

"Why didn't YOU look where YOU were going?"

"Oh yeah? Why didn't YOU look where he said you were looking where he was..."

It went on like that for a while. It continued until they noticed...

"Why are we floating in the air?" wondered Squitter. "And I saw this in a movie someplace. I think it was-"

Mario quickly slapped duct tape on Squitter's mouth.

"I know what's happening!" shouted Poppy excitedly. "We're all going to be brought onboard a spaceship, and they'll perform weird experiments on us, then erase our memories, then return us to where we were, and... oh, never mind. Um, I think we're about to fall."

Everyone screamed, but by pure coincidence they landed on a trampoline, proving once again that this adventure is even more corny than that business with the Sword Brothers.

Part 23: The First Finale

While walking, Kirby tripped and landed in a star-shaped spaceship. Unfortunately, the hit knocked him out and wiped out his memory. Then the spaceship took off. This is how the Kirby TV Show began.

"... and here are the remaining Scrolls," said Squitter.

"I'm not even going to comment on how corny this is," muttered Poppy.

Now that they had all the Scrolls, save two, they managed to decipher the message. Yes, they're missing two, but for reasons we shall not explain here they managed to figure out what the whole message was. It basically said that the scrolls were scattered around the world and that if someone got them all they could have one wish. (Total rip-off of DragonballZ, eh?)

"Well," Squitter said "I guess you can take it from here. I've got to go now."

"Go WHERE?" asked Mario.

"I need to go help out Donkey Kong."

"Okay," agreed Poppy. Squitter left.

"So," said Mario, "it's come down to only us. Oh well, let's find those two scrolls that Smithy's Successor has."

Meanwhile...

"Okay, kids," said Bowser, "I know we may all be captured and are all in this prison cell, but it's high time I told you about the birds and the bees."

"NOOOOOOO!!!" the Koopalings all screamed.

"'Fraid so, kids. It's the facts of life. But remember, no matter how disgusting it may seem, it's all perfectly

normal. Let's start with the basics."

One hour later...

"Okay, we're done with the basics! Now let's move on to more advanced material. But first, let's review. We have already discussed the ways to tell a bird and a bee apart. Birds are usually larger, don't make honey, don't sting you, have beaks, and aren't yellow-and-black striped. Okay, now let's talk about the different kinds of birds and bees!"

"Our dad is not of this Earth," Larry said.

"We don't live on Earth!" said Iggy.

"It's a figure of speech!"

It must be tough having Bowser for a dad. Let's check up on how Mario and Poppy are doing... not very well, apparently. They're in Smithy's ex-Fortress, the current headquarters of Smithy's Successor. No wait, that's not bad, that's good. Silly me...

"I hate that narrator," Poppy mumbled.

Anyway, it seems that they knew of their coming, and, not wanting to tangle with Mario again, the place seems evacuated... no, wait, there's someone there. Someone that looks a lot like... argh, can't we see more than just the outline?!

"We'll be back, right after a word from our sponsor!" said a randomly-appearing-weird-guy.

"Hi everyone! Be sure to buy Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire! Thank you!"

We now return to our story.

"Our sponsor is Pokémon? That sure explains a lot," Mario noted. "Oh well, we'd better continue on."

"You won't be continuing on," said a voice.

"W-who's that?" whispered Poppy.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough... but does it really matter? IT ALL ENDS HERE!"

Gradually, a figure came into view.

"What? You're Smithy himself!" Mario said in disappointment.

"Fool! I'm not Smithy! I'm Smithy Jr!"

A quick note: This is not the tourist Smithy Jr. He's a completely different Smithy Jr. Any references to "Smithy Jr" will be referring to the character in the story, NOT the Smithy Jr who has submitted various things to Lemmy's Land.

"Oh? You think you can take the Scrolls from us?" Mario asked defiantly.

"Not exactly," Smithy Jr said. "I'm going to kill you two, THEN take the Scrolls! No, wait, what's the point? Check your pocket, Poppy."

Poppy looked in his pocket, where apparently he was holding the Scrolls of Power he had collected... must have deep pockets. Anyway, he discovered they're gone.

"But where did they go?" Mario asked, although he already knew the answer.

"Oh, I had this whole encounter planned out thoroughly. When you two weren't looking, my quietest henchman managed to steal them from you. I won't go into the details, but suffice to say, I've won!"

"Not exactly," Mario said trumphantly. The ones Poppy had were fakes. The REAL ones I have!"

"Oh, you think THAT matters?" Smithy Jr asked. "You forget I have all kinds of awesome powers at my disposal... like this!" he added as the Scrolls were drawn away from Mario and toward Smithy Jr.

"Oh no you don't!" Mario shouted. He went all-out in an attack on Smithy Jr, which Poppy joined in on. Only a few minutes later the mechanical monstrosity had collapsed.

"Come to think of it, how can robots have kids?" wondered Poppy.

"I don't think we want to know," Mario said. "But let's just get the Scrolls and rescue the others."

"And what about the two we don't have?"

"Doesn't matter. Two won't help Smithy Jr's army out at all, and Smithy Jr's dead anyway." Mario kicked the remains of Smithy Jr to prove his point.

Mario and Poppy rescued all his friends and allies and they all went home to have a victory celebrations. But

little did they know that they had not seen the last of Smithy Jr...

"You know," said Mario, "I keep having the strange feeling I'm forgetting something."

Meanwhile...

"Now to discuss the various kinds of bees!" Bowser announced. "One type is a bumblebess, which..."

"He's even worse than Morton," complained Roy.

The End


End file.
